Yesterday in my small group (group that meets together to build, encourage, pray for one another ... dive in to the Word etc...) we watched a video called the Power of 1, speaking about how we should realize our single years are a blessing because we have free time to do the things that pleases God & despite me writing a blog on this a couple months ago, I was totally convicted! Basically, I'm not ready for marriage ... so I am not ready to date POINT BLANK! But this blog isn't really about yesterday, somewhat related though, no tangents I promise!

I was thinking about Romans 8:1"So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus." Are we really walking this verse out?! Stephanie, are guilt/shame/insecurities that are not from the Lord weighing you down? So many times I think we come to one another wanting condolences for our struggles/shame that comes with it, when the remedy was already handed to us. Jesus on the cross! If you belong to Him, your guilt has been swept clean. So lets speak truth to one another, of course being sensitive and sympathetic, but who the Son sets free is free indeed, Right!

How do we change our past guilt to be used for the Lord's glory and not the devils? One way I feel the Lord has been encouraging me is to use these situations to share the Gospel! For example, it's inevitable if I haven't talked to someone for a long time, they are bound to ask the question, 'How's the love life going?' I mean it seems appropriate I am 20, and most people around me have been in the dating world since elementary school (no joke). By the time I got to late middle school the question became that question, in high school it was the dreaded question, in college the ignored question. I hated anyone pointing out my lack of getting hit by cupid's arrow to cure my non-commitment disease. It was embarrassing, my pride didn't help; and can I say our society does a great job at pressuring us to rush into relationships!

But this question now puts a smile on my face, because I know exactly where the conversation is heading. I get to tell them how I'm getting my heart right with God, before any other man enters my life, and how Jesus is sufficiently in the spot as my first love! An open door for me to share how Jesus has transformed me! So disciples, not only are we called to hold different standards than this world, but use them to share the love of Christ!

-Stephanie

The world’s view of dating has lightened much. I can see from looking at older generations, such as my parents! Being Haitian and with strict parents, my parents hardly experienced dating … or as we seem to make the word seem today. Yet God has definitely blessed their marriage for the past 26 years! So why does dating seem to be held as a crucial part in having a healthy relationship now a days? As redeemed children of God, led to walk in light, we’re called to give up the norms/standards of this world.

Colossians 3:1-2 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

But were so young!!! Shouldn’t we at least enjoy dating??? My mom’s answer to me was always … NO! But so many of these thoughts have been contemplated in my head:

It’s just harmless dating, I’m not looking to be in a serious relationship, just to have that companionship.

I’ve realized dating is hardly ever harmless. Establishing someone as “more than just a friend,” is always going to do something to your heart, attaching yourself to that person, and making it even harder to break from that person, when your so called “done!” [which I often was!] Look into this relationship’s future and what do you see? If it’s not a committed relationship that points to marriage in the future, what is your goal in it now? If your longing for companionship find it in Jesus. A relationship with Him Is guaranteed to never ever get old!

You learn lessons about relationships while dating!

You may! At the same time you deal with many issues that come with giving your heart to someone. God is not going to put us in a situation, that is impossible to tackle with Him. This includes relationships. Matter of fact he prunes us in our single years, with our relationships with our brothers, to show us what a pure relationship really looks like.

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

What if this is the guy God really wants for me?

First (note to myself) The Lord longs for us to wholeheartedly go after him! So why would He want us to be unevenly yoked, causing us to stumble in our relationship with Him? If this is the guy God has set apart for you, then why not wait on Him and see! God is not in a rush, why are you? As my sister in Christ told me, God is just not going to let this guy slip from your life, because YOU missed an opportunity. God is sovereign, we need to be on His timing not our own!

2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

Yoke(n) -something that couples or binds together; a bond or tie.

I’ve been single for sooo long (or forever in my case)!

Ahh single years, loved or loathed, but always on the extreme ends! Ladies of God, it’s time to claim our single years joyfully, as time to grow with God. He does things in our lives now, that cannot be done in the future while we are in a relationship!

1 Corinthians 7: 32-34 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.

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So I am NOT anti-dating! I’m just anti-the world’s standards for dating =]. I used to be confused, embarrassed, even mad, that I was never in relationships. Everyone around me had boyfriends from before our teens!! What was wrong with me? I had guys like me, and I liked them, but it never led anywhere! Many years later ... I see that this has actually been a blessing from God. He’s kept me from heartaches and worries, and I’m so thankful for that. Now I’m on the mission to find out what God truly calls for In a pure relationship with godly men, seeing them as my brothers, and maximizing my single years to build my relationship with the Lord. Being married to Jesus!! So that’s just my take on dating, but don’t take mine read God’s word and ask for His wisdom.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

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Video found by Faith =]: Average Girl-Barlow Girl

-Stephanie