The world’s view of dating has lightened much. I can see from looking at older generations, such as my parents! Being Haitian and with strict parents, my parents hardly experienced dating … or as we seem to make the word seem today. Yet God has definitely blessed their marriage for the past 26 years! So why does dating seem to be held as a crucial part in having a healthy relationship now a days? As redeemed children of God, led to walk in light, we’re called to give up the norms/standards of this world.

Colossians 3:1-2 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

But were so young!!! Shouldn’t we at least enjoy dating??? My mom’s answer to me was always … NO! But so many of these thoughts have been contemplated in my head:

It’s just harmless dating, I’m not looking to be in a serious relationship, just to have that companionship.

I’ve realized dating is hardly ever harmless. Establishing someone as “more than just a friend,” is always going to do something to your heart, attaching yourself to that person, and making it even harder to break from that person, when your so called “done!” [which I often was!] Look into this relationship’s future and what do you see? If it’s not a committed relationship that points to marriage in the future, what is your goal in it now? If your longing for companionship find it in Jesus. A relationship with Him Is guaranteed to never ever get old!

You learn lessons about relationships while dating!

You may! At the same time you deal with many issues that come with giving your heart to someone. God is not going to put us in a situation, that is impossible to tackle with Him. This includes relationships. Matter of fact he prunes us in our single years, with our relationships with our brothers, to show us what a pure relationship really looks like.

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

What if this is the guy God really wants for me?

First (note to myself) The Lord longs for us to wholeheartedly go after him! So why would He want us to be unevenly yoked, causing us to stumble in our relationship with Him? If this is the guy God has set apart for you, then why not wait on Him and see! God is not in a rush, why are you? As my sister in Christ told me, God is just not going to let this guy slip from your life, because YOU missed an opportunity. God is sovereign, we need to be on His timing not our own!

2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

Yoke(n) -something that couples or binds together; a bond or tie.

I’ve been single for sooo long (or forever in my case)!

Ahh single years, loved or loathed, but always on the extreme ends! Ladies of God, it’s time to claim our single years joyfully, as time to grow with God. He does things in our lives now, that cannot be done in the future while we are in a relationship!

1 Corinthians 7: 32-34 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.

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So I am NOT anti-dating! I’m just anti-the world’s standards for dating =]. I used to be confused, embarrassed, even mad, that I was never in relationships. Everyone around me had boyfriends from before our teens!! What was wrong with me? I had guys like me, and I liked them, but it never led anywhere! Many years later ... I see that this has actually been a blessing from God. He’s kept me from heartaches and worries, and I’m so thankful for that. Now I’m on the mission to find out what God truly calls for In a pure relationship with godly men, seeing them as my brothers, and maximizing my single years to build my relationship with the Lord. Being married to Jesus!! So that’s just my take on dating, but don’t take mine read God’s word and ask for His wisdom.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

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Video found by Faith =]: Average Girl-Barlow Girl

-Stephanie

Beauty was power to me.
The power to control every action of every man
The power to make a man keep coming
The power to keep their eyes on me and lust after
I wanted it all!

I wanted them to feel weak to their bones when they just looked into my eyes
I wanted them to yearn in their body just to be in my presence
I wanted them to have me on their minds all day long
I wanted them to smell my fragrance and give them taste of something they could never have
I wanted them to feel utterly powerless but to be hush hush about what was really going on


Cuz unspoken words was the game I thought I conquered
was the power I worked so hard for
Unspoken word between my "he's just a friend"
But deep inside I knew
"ha...if I really wanted to be with him I could"
Unspoken words made me even believe I was innocent
because nothing physical was happening
It was all mental

So I put on all the right closed that I knew would do the trick but kept me looking like an angel
I took mental notes as I watched all my celebrities Idols:
Beyonce, Alicia Keys, Rihanna, and Mariah Carey.
As Beyonce and Rihanna changes gears in their music
"I am sasha Fierce" and "Good girl Gone Bad"
I also cranked up the heat as I went to college and was no longer under Daddies roof
Their music were my anthems
I would sing my lung outs
"should of put a ring on it"
and then soften it off with "Rehab" and "Halo"
when I longed for my significant other and was with them

Luring and keeping my man was also part of my power
I had to keep my baby
So of course I had to go as far as I thought I should
But Wait...
I wouldn't go that far
naw baby I'm a Christan
O so you say I stilled feared God?!?
no I actually feared my parents
I was the Golden child and I did not want to follow in my sisters step of having child

So I thought I had standards,
but really I just manipulated the situations
so that I can do whatever I please
and still clean my tract

I believe in my self sooooooooo much
When ever things were going wrong in my relationship
I would go to my " guy friends"
because I needed that attention
I wrapped my actions with
I needed company
But the things I would say to them
when I'm desperate was not cool
And the fact that I always had victory
..that their was always someone their
to listen to me
to be there for me
trash my ex
tell me I was so beautiful
and that I deserve better
were never a surprised to me
no but instead I waited for them
they were wood adding to my flame of power

Yet, the only one I was fooling was my self
Because I thought power was part of becoming a young Lady
I actually thought it was classy
To clean my ugliness and tricks with dirt
and paint it white by claiming that I belong to HIS Kingdom
and the principle that I wont sleep with you
"I'm a Christan"

BU T, no I was actually an enemy of His Kingdom
I was actually hurting my brothers to sin
The power I believed I had did not worked for me
but my power worked for the enemy
He didn't even have to do much
Just sat back and encouraged me
Threw me a wood of compliments
or a new song from Rihanna
that sent my body on fire in the club
As I grind against my brother
I laughed he laughed
I danced He dance
I smiled He smiled
It, was almost like we were best friends

But, then again I was fooling every one
about my feelings
Because deep inside I was hurting
When I had a heated argument with my parents
or my relationship would go wrong and I felt the whole world was crashing down
I would cry and then brushed my tears off
and call my "guy friends"
who I knew would make me feel on top again

Make-up was also wood to my flames
I'd put on makeup and would feel just Utterly Beautiful!
Like literally UNTOUCHABLE
and so as I put on my masked
no one knew the truth
so when I laughed he laughed
When I put on my make-up
He would give my suggestions
And when I cry
he would also
o wait NO

When, I cry he would also laugh
When I would wish I was dead because I thought I was loosing my power
He would suggest how I can commit suicide
"take those pills and be gone"
"You could just take the knife"
"Just jump out of the car"
"Just crash the car"
when I felt like I was loosing my relationship
he would replace my tears with hate
Those were times when we wasn't in sync

But, those were the times
When My saviors voice was LOUD and CLEAR
"Don't take those pills!"
"Don't jump our the car!"
"Faith, baby girl!"
"I love you!"
"Don't do it!"

"Stop, believing in this false power that leaves you empty!
Stop luring your brothers
because your hurting your brothers and yourself
Stop looking up to Alcia Keys, Beyonce, and Rihanna as romodels
But instead Look at the Romodels I have in my word
Esters, Mary Magdeline Deborah.
Yes Faith, you are beautiful
But not to the worlds standards of fine clothing and makeup
But instead baby girl, my beautiful daughter
Your beautiful through your inner self,
the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,
which is of great worth in My sight.
For this is the way the holy women of the past
who put their hope in God
used to make themselves beautiful.
(1 peter 3:4-5)
~Faith

Truth- I have spent my whole life thinking that
I needed to grow into this fly, sexy ,intelligent, and beautiful women.
And then I would be secure.
I thought I was mapping out this great plan of wearing the world clothes of sophistication and pulling on my socks of Jesus.
-The socks that no one could clearly see.

But OMG
This whole tactics of pursing guys
Wanting guys to come after me
Wanting guys to lust after me
Wanting girls to envy me
Wanting girls to respect me
Wanting all these high standards to be applied to my life
Looking into the mirror and saying to myself
"hhmm I look good
...I hope he sees me "

IS ALL SELFISH!!!!
Where is Christ in any of this?!?!
I only see myself being glorified
Not Jesus Christ!

I never wanted people to identify me as....
"that girl who loves the Lord"

I almost want to cry
Cuz I thought I was doing so GOOD
but OMG there is just so much that I need to pray that the Lord cleans my heart
-cleansed me for I am not good

I may have look so innocent on the outside
But the flesh has had a strong hold in my life:
My flesh is ugly on the inside
My flesh is selfish
My flesh is arrogant
My flesh is conceded
My flesh is jealous

Who ever said that wearing Jesus socks was the only armor I needed on?!?!?
-to go up against the enemy.

But I knew -I just ignored the truth
I didn't want to put on the whole armor

-it scares me
that for so long
I have allowed my flesh to teach me these
seductive tactics that I have used to talk to guys
even the guy friends
-to lure them and keep them on my chain
saying just enough to keep them in my hand
just enough that if I wanted to
I could get them
I just chose not to
I put on this persona
"That I was just a friendly person"--
but if my ways cause my brother to stumble
then I am just one of Satan's agents
causing lust in their hearts!?!?!

O Lord My Savior
I continue to pray against these rules and tactics
that I use to live by

I pray Lord My Savior to Cleansed my heart

Jeremiah 17 :9
The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately wicked:
who can know it?
Psalms 51 :10
Create in me a pure heart,
O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

~ Faith