That means its time for reflecting on 2013 and possibly drawing up hopes for the coming year. Been there! Faith & I attempted to do so with you all here on the blog (lessons learned & all). So what is my goal for 2014?
To trust God moment by moment.
Okay that may sound a little cliche as some may say :). But telling a planner, goal-oriented, do-er like me to walk besides God and not ahead of Him is quite the task.
But planners of America or Senegal (if you're reading Faith =]) we have two choices:
Walk on our own and miss out on the growth that allows us to trust God greater in the future or the opposite.
You see I could try to micromanage my future; what kind of physician I'll be and where I'll work, who I'll marry, what I'll do to serve God three years from now, etc. But most of my current thoughts on these matters are in vain. Not because they are not important to me or to God, but because God has already written these things for my life. NOT to say God does not want us to plan and make goals (if they align with His Will and we are not stepping before Him).
So what exactly does God want us to do? I love how Galatians puts it, He wants us to keep in step with His Spirit. ("If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit." Galatians 5:25). The Greek verb used in this verse translates to walk in a line behind a leader. I can picture a young child following their parent who is always slightly ahead of them; sometimes a couple steps further then the child would like; but when they look up they know that they are never alone.
Not only will living life by the Spirit help me to know and trust God more today, but it will produce in me daily the fruits of the Spirit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23)
If you want to weigh benefits and cost here: walking in love and patience will far more benefit said future husband than me pondering our possible meeting.... & faithfulness and kindness produced through God's Spirit will serve my future patients far greater than a well thought out 5 year career plan could.
My point is we often don't think about how our daily chose to love and trust God will have an impact on our future. Francis Chan said it best."The decisions we make next year will be profoundly affected by the degree to which we submit to the Spirit right now, in today's decisions."
So here's to daily learning to submit to God's Spirit in 2014 and until I'm perfected in Christ. Happy New Year, Love Steph
The year of 2010 the Lord and I have drawn closer together. He has shown himself faithful in so many ways...
1. My number one prayer request for about 7 months has been for my parents and our relationship. Looking back a full year later I can joyfully say there has been much improvement. The Lord has soften my heart towards them. He has also shown me how my actions towards my parents is not loving. Thus, I started doing little things like hugging them every time I see them when I'm home, texting them encouragement words and just simple I love you's. There still needs to be more improvements but in it all the Lord is faithful.
2. Making the Lord my first love/ and being complete in him One night in fall 2010 I was seeking the Lord. I remember the first half of it I just broke down in his presence and basically laid out to him all the burdens I was holding in. I don't remember what those burdens were but I know after the Lord took them off my shoulder. After I was just basking in his presence and then I said those 3 words to him "I love you". I know you might think I am crazy. But honestly I have always sang songs expressing my love to him, even prayed them out. But I have never just spoke to Jesus and told him I love him. This was so deep to me because it was the love I always long from a man. It was at that moment that I knew deep in my heart that all I want in life is Jesus. Like literally, that's all I need; everything else is secondary.
3. The Lord has increase my Faith 100% I have shared from my previous blogs the HURRICANE that I went through in the beginning of this year. For many months I was walking blind but solely on faith that God would provide for me despite how hopeless my situation looked. Around May the Lord took me out of the storm and his blessings were so much that I was just full! The Lord has shown himself countless times that he is faithful
4.Transparency to tell my testimony in public. " Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."-Galatians 1:10 I use to be ashamed to tell my testimony because I worried what others would think of me. Through months of prayer, the Lord has freed me from fear of man. (This is kind of connected to the third point.Jesus is my identity and to me that's what I pride myself in and not myself.)
Those are the 4 bring things that the Lord has done in my life
For 2011 the areas that I want to grow in the Lord are:
1. CONSISTENT QUIET TIME It is very frustrating because in the year 2010 my quiet time have fluctuated ....there will be times when I am doing very good but towards the end of this year it was honestly hanging on a thin string!
2. a FERVENT prayer life I started this year fervently praying, but after the Lord took me out of my hurricane my prayer life started declining. It's even more sad because I know that the hurricane taught me what it means to pray. I believe part of my lack of zeal to pray is connected to praying for my friends and just seeing them take two steps back.
~ Praying brings on a burden but without prayer nothing happens~
3. Read the Bible in two years. I am joining Stephanie :)
...and you can too!!!!
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/files/2010/12/TGC-Two-Year-Bible-Reading-Plan1.pdf
4. Be a better accountability partner to Stephanie I honestly haven't been a good accountability partner...I've been lazy
5. Speak my Poems more often One Friday prayer meeting at my church they were reading the Parable of the Talents ( Matthew 25:14-30) ; I have heard this parable many times never thinking that it applies to my life. But that night I knew that there are many times I pray Lord please give me a poem and he does. I would write the poem and never look at it again. SMH ...yah thats gotta change
6. Bear more of the Holy Spirit fruit 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, for bearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control.-Galations 5:22-23 5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins. -2 Peter 1:5-9
I think this those Bible explain it more than I do
7. Being an Ex-Porn Addict means that I still get tempted. I have felt very shameful to admit that there are times when I have fallen into sin. When that happens I feel unworthy to even be a child of God! I get upset and sad because I shouldn't be going through this anymore!!! The devil is still is who is his, and he ultimate plan is for me to die!
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 1 Peter 5:8-9
But thank God Jesus is Lord over my life! Thank God that his words are always louder than the enemy! And thank God for his Grace! I want to rage war on the enemy and against all his plans against my life! First I need to humble myself. I, Faith Umoh, am nothing special! I am just saved by his grace and still need his grace everyday! Even when my flesh wants to cover up my sins I must reveal my ugliness to Jesus and to my accountability partner. Consistent purity in my heart, thoughts, and actions is what I desire Lord.
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.- Psalms 51:10
I know your properly read my recent blog and now wondering why am I making these goals? The Goals I made for 2010 were all worldly goals. After reflecting, the only goals I really conquered were the ones that brought me closer to the Lord. Thus, I made some new spiritual goals because I want more of Jesus!
Here's the previous blog if your wondering --> http://sovereigntylove.blogspot.com/2009/12/2010-goals_30.html
I thought I would give an account of my year hehe.
Diet: Well a euphemized version of one. -Also Fail; I can't really do those things. -Upside: I began cooking for myself more often; Future mother/wife win!
Exercise: -Fail: Was not consistent at all! -Upside: I learned the best main ways for me to workout are organized workouts; flag football, dance, working at a summer camp.
Sabbath: -Working on it: Didn't really begin till Fall though. -Upside: The Lord is gracious
Budget: -Fail: ehhh its more like I need someone to budget my food and grocery shopping for me. It's all I spend money on. -Upside: None =[
Reading: -Nah: Did not get to 10 but maybe 3 lol -Upside: I'm going to Barnes and Noble to pick out two books for the New Year and I made a promise not to buy anymore till I finish mine at home. (I'm going to begin the Narnia series yay!)
Increase study of Gods Word: -Yes: but I long for so much more! I want to be in love and reverence of His Word like David in Psalm 119 ... I will speak more on this later.
Support (financial & time) a local ministry/outreach: -Not local but it has stolen my heart, Hananasif, an orphanage/secondary school in Tanzania. I went on a missions trip to Africa in June. I plan to still commit them to prayer and financially. I've also with our group have begun brainstorming ways to keep supporting them, like a dance fundraiser we recently had!
Learn how to knit: -Score; I've also discovered I love crafty projects!
Begin weekly studies for the GRE with Faith: -Fail ... my plans for schooling alway waver so we'll see when God wants to start preparing me for life after graduation!
Ha, so as I told Faith we were a bit overzealous with our plans. I love how she quoted James 4:13-17. Some days I would really stop and wonder is this all worth it; if I was to die tomorrow, should I be investing, worrying, or taking time on this. Sometimes the answer was yes, others no. I still think goals are a great thing to set, but I've learned they need to be goals that I have worked out with God in prayer first before I commit to them.
Well I'm sure my heart is set on many goals for 2011, but here is one that I know God has been pulling me to... so I'll share. I really want to read all the Bible. Yes, this can lead to many beginnings and no sucessful ending, but I think it will stretch me. I found this 2 year plan that goes in sequential order. http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2010/12/29/two-year-bible-reading-plan/
I've realized that my brain works chronologically and jumping from book to book doesn't work quite well. When I first began reading the Bible I would finish whole books, and I feel that I got more out of the scripture that way. Of course I may stray every so often to study a passage with my Small Group, or simply Spirit led, but I am taking the few days before the new year to pray that God would grow me in the knowledge and truth of His Word. I'm excited! Guess you can't get a full update with that till the end of 2012 huh? =]
Let me know if you would like to join me! We can keep one another accountable and have discussions. & If you've never read the Bible, pick it up read a little a day and see what God can do!
In the Beginning of the Year I and Stephanie made some goals...lets see how many I actually did Faith's 2010 Goals:
*Raise Awareness about Chocolate Slave by starting a Campaign in Uf I have raised awarness and have told people about it, but still haven't been able to do a campaign *Become a mentor either through Big Brothers Big Sisters or Tutor at East Side * Keeping the Sabbath and read Christian Books during my Sabbath I have barely kept the Sabbath. During the Summer I completely forgot you were suppose to Sabbath (smh) *Praying With My sisters on the Phone weekly Epic Failure...only did it like twice *Staying connected with my friends down south by bi-weekly talks instead using txting as my communication to them I am still in contact with them...but didn't have the time to talk them bi-weekly *Get a Summer Job
Praise the Lord I did! *Following a proposed budget (learn how to make your own budget on Excel here: http://www.vertex42.com/ExcelArticles/how-to-budget.html) Didn't even make a budget! *Tithing even before I get a summer Job...hence strengthening my Faith in God with my funds My tithing wasn't how is should of been
*Learn How to play Worship Songs on the Piano during the summer Organic 1 and 2 Took over my life plus work *Start Christian Open Mics with the J Movement
It was amazing! *Read ahead Failure
*study for the MCAT & GRE Epic Fail My work out plan was an Epic Failure also!!!
To be honest this is all quite embarrassing. I publicly made so many goals and didn't even complete half of it! However, I believe I know why. In the beginning of this year I made all this goals that I believe I could carry out. But who am I to boast in the future? It is actually a sin to boast in the future with out saying Lord's willingly.
Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” 16 As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. 17 If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.
James 4:13-17
For 2011 I don't have a set goals, as of right now. I feel like I am in front of like 5 doors and not sure which one the Lord is going to give me the key to walk through. So, I am taking life one step at a time. Going to concentrate on stewarding what the Lord has already given me this year
a) I am a college student and thus Lord willingly I would like to excel in all my classes and graduate in may 2012
b) The Lord has given me an opportunity to be a research assistance at the United States Department of Agriculture thus, Lord willingly I would like to gain as much skills and knowledge from that job
c) (no reason why this is last) but I just want to draw closer to the Lord and keep my eyes and ears open to the opportunities he drops my way.
I don't want to be sleeping when he has already told me to keep watch and miss his blessings
<3 Faith
I would say that I believe God wants to use me to do something great. I don't know how to explain it but he has given me so much fire and passion for developing countries. I can wait to see how he uses me to glorify his name. Like Sho Baraka said "I just want to make you famous Lord"
2 Peter 3:8 "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day."
Huh? Living on Earth it is difficult wrapping our minds around eternity, or even trying to live out a life of eternal thinking. Especially in our generation that has been equated with the "microwave oven syndrome" (wanting everything now!), but as disciples we are called to eternal thinking
Colossians 3:2 "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."
So how do we switch our mind sets in a world that is jealous for consuming our thoughts?
In Hebrews 12 Paul tells us to look upon the one whose jealousy for our heart is greater. "2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3"Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
There is a definite danger in applying our world ideals onto God's eternal ones. I was just thinking about how in our lives we are so geared to think about destinations. Our drive comes from goals, and satisfaction from achieving those goals. Goals aren't a bad thing, but what are we really trying to accomplish in following Jesus?
Our goal in living a life as a follower of Jesus should not be to reach a destination.Jesus, God in the flesh, was not humiliated and brutally put to death on the cross solely to give us a ticket stub to heaven. Though through his death accompanied by faith we are given eternal life, eternal life does not equal entry into heaven, In John 17 while Jesus is praying to Father he defines eternal life as this 3"Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent."
Our goal is to get to know our creator and fall madly in love with Him. As cliche as this sounds it truly is more of the journey than the destination! This is such an important thing to know when we decide to totally give our lives to Christ (me a couple of months ago) or like now as a follower of Jesus, relearning and walking this out day to day. The Lord truly wants to give us more, the question is are we willing to follow/seek Him to get it?
So what's my point? If you know who Jesus is, but haven't gone into really knowing Him on a relationship bases, why wait another day? Tap deeper into the tree of life and discover the sweetness of eternal living; peace, kindness, joy, hope ...He longs to have an authentic relationship with you where He can overwhelm you with His love. Where in some crazy way your desires become His, your life gets turned upside down (for the better) and your mission is to selflessly serve to accomplish His mission. And to those on this great/crazy journey following Jesus, it always great to recharge and remember what our goal truly is ; ].
All Fast food restaurants omitted: including not the obvious: Chic-fil-a Boston Market Quiznoes Subway Zaxby's All Pizza places Chinese take-out *With Exceptions: If you MUST eat fast food resteraunts then order according to http://eatthis.menshealth.com/home
Faiths Work-Out plan Work-out 3 times a week on my own options to : run, bike or take a class together with weights & abs
Stephanie's Work-Out plan Work-out 3 times a week on my own options: running as well as core & moderate weights
At the end of the month Reward: If we follow the conditions above faithfully then we will reward ourselves with ONE MEAL of our choice. Either an appetizer and a meal or a meal and dessert.
Faith's 2010 Goals: *Raise Awareness about Chocolate Slave by starting a Campaign in Uf *Become a mentor either through Big Brothers Big Sisters or Tutor at East Side * Keeping the Sabbath and read Christian Books during my Sabbath *Praying With My sisters on the Phone weekly *Staying connected with my friends down south by bi-weekly talks instead using txting as my communication to them *Get a Summer Job *Following a proposed budget (learn how to make your own budget on Excel here: http://www.vertex42.com/ExcelArticles/how-to-budget.html) *Tithing even before I get a summer Job...hence strengthening my Faith in God with my funds *Learn How to play Worship Songs on the Piano during the summer *Start Christian Open Mics with the J Movement *Read ahead *study for the MCAT & GRE
Stephanie's 2010 Goals: *Starting and maintaining a Sabbath *Following a proposed budget *Read at least 10 novels/books *Increase time/study of God's word!!! *Support (financial & time) a local ministry/outreach
*Learn how to knit =] *Begin weekly studies for the GRE with Faith
There have been numerous events in my life that I have felt utterly helpless. Usually these are the events that I cry out and lean on someones shoulder and also pray out to God. Yet, this past event was different. I wasn't going to write a post on this, yet I felt the Holy spirit telling me to write this for someone else who is going through something similar.
:sigh: So, I have put God first this semester. Totally surrendered my life to Christ. As a university of Florida student that for me means I have decided to Major in Jesus and Minor in school. I have not neglected my studies but I have stopped stressing! Well that is the biggest thing I learned this semester- to trust God. There has been many times this semester that I have cried. I have put God first and studied yet I failed my first exams for all my classes! Like I really studied and put God first. I love church, not just because of the fellowship. Yet, I find the most joy and comfort being in His presence. Also, Pastor Mike is seriously anointed by God. I love him, and his messages always hit hard. They are not a feel good messages!
So, yeah the second exam was a little better but not what I wanted. Like I was so distress that on my birthday I went to Lake Alice to do my quiet time and just cried out to my God because my grades weren't good. I was crying because I wasn't seeing results. Yet, I was not wearing my name proudly! Faith- is walking without sight! Because I couldnt see where God was taking me scared me completely! In my eyes all I saw was failure!I was trying to have Faith, but this was my sophomore year. Could God please give me a break and bring me success in school from the beginning? Like seriously, I have struggled in school since my first semester. University of Florida is no Joke! Especially their pre-health track, its a complete weed out courses! After only doing a little better in my exams after days of studying I literally just stopped. Stopped studying and just asked God why? How? When? Huh? I was fed up. I honestly didn't really pick up a book for 2 weeks but just spent time in God's presence asking him why? Why God, like what do you want from me? I just felt helpless. I didn't know what to do.
So at Alice and just started crying. The phrase in my head "Faith you dont trust him" just kept repeating in my head as the tears fell. Jason from church approaches me(and this is my first time meeting him). He ask me "why are you crying? Is it because of school?" I was like man this is a divine appointment! He tells me about being selfless and trusting that God is going to take control. After, I went and sat by the lake and started listening to my ipod podcast and it was definetly God. I listen to about 3 20 min worship podcast in a row and they all were about how God is in control even when we can not see it. Even in our hard times. Psalms 34 was read and as I listening the Holy Spirit yelled "Faith! Like are you serious! Why are you crying, like you believe the Bible is infallible right?!?
Psalms 34 :17 " The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenheartedand saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken. 21 Evil will slay the wicked; 7 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.
Right now Faith your crying because you don't believe God's words!" And that's when I received the revelation that God is going to take care of me. He has done in the past! I am not going to forget all that he has delivered me from in the past and think he doesn't care about me now! I honestly left Lake Alice comforted.
~ Sometimes to hear from God we really need to cry out to him~
The rest of my semester I continue to seek God and just felt his comfort because I now trusted him and was not walking by sight but by Faith! I studied but honestly just was like God provide for me because I know I can not do this but only through your strength.
Now results: As I saw my results he delivered me from one of my classess yet in Biology I recieved a D. When I saw my grade I started crying, not because I thought my future was over. But because my parents. My GPA has dropped and I just thought they would be furious! I cried but then I was like man they fear God. If they only knew how many hours I studied and how much I have grown in God they would be okay. I read several Psalms of how much God is in control and is ordering our steps and received this peace that surpassed all my understanding. My faith and trust was strengthen once again as I faced my parents.
When I met with my parents I told them of my growth in God and how he is really taking care of me even if they could not see it. I told them they might not be happy with my grade but just know that God is going to take everything. I honestly thought that everything would be okay. But I was completely wrong. My parents did go crazy. they tried to put things in their own hands yet it is not for man to direct his owns steps. Jeremiah 10:23. They canceled my trip to Kansas city for IHOP conference and have told me that this last week home will be my time to study biology.
Now I do not want to rag on my parents. However, this news of not going to my trip was told to me Christmas Morning. I was completely devastated. I was crying like someone had died for about an hour. I wasn't crying because I could not go to Kansas city. But because my parents do not completely trust God with MY LIFE. "God helps those who help themselves" is what my dad told me. Yet, I return to him asking is that in the Bible? He responds saying no, and I said I know that but it does say in Psalms 37: 23-24: " The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD, And He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; For the LORD upholds him with His hand.
My parents honestly was not trying to hear what I was saying, yet God's words continued to come to me saying Faith my word is true. I have great plans for your future. One little D is not going to stop you from where I need you.
I cried because I felt helpless with my parents and could not believe that I am still going through the same awful scenes that I tried to forget with my parents as they control my life. I cried but for the first time I did not depend on anyone to comfort me. I actually did not want anyone to comfort me. I wanted to be alone with God as I cried out. As my eyes poured out tears and my mouth mourned I felt the love God. Like he loves me, and this life is only temporary but His children get to live in heaven for eternity. I was in so much pain, but I read his psalms and because of my love for God I submitted to my parents.
Because I know God is Sovereign. I know that some how God will provide for me. Right now it has been two days since it has happens and all I can say is that for first time in my life I can say: that I no longer look for anything in this world to satisfy me or comfort me. Not my family, friends, or a career. My love for God is sooooooo much stronger and to me that's enough. Like I still want to just live for Christ, no longer for the desires of this world.
John 12:25 The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.
Matthew 10: 37-38 Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.
This world truly has nothing for me, and I just want to bring his Kingdom into this world. I just want my family and friends to really experience God's love. Because His love is ENOUGH!
Three of the greatest thing I have received out of this semester is learning how to truly pray and cry out to God. Secondly, learning what my name means and how it works along trusting God. Thirdly knowing what type of physician I want to become. I want to become a third world physician that specializes in disease that plagues third world countries.
So, this has been another challenging semester, God has not given me everything that I wanted yet I know God is Sovereign. He does not say no because he feels like it. He does not close a door just for the heck of it! He has a purpose, plan, and something better then what I can see towards my future and my parents reaction. This is the essence of Faith! Believing what I can not see but instead Trusting that God is Sovereign and that He has ordered my steps!
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whob have been called according to his purpose/
Here are two amazing songs that lyrics literally say what most Christians feel when they are in distress with the thier life and trusting God
What started as way for us to communicate to each other and balance our school work has now turned into a place for us to share a little bit of our hearts and thoughts with each other and the world. We are followers of Christ, thus His glory will forever be in our blogs.
