Since the beginning of this semester the Lord has been pruning me at such great measures. In some ways, I can tell where He has cut off the branches from me (areas in my life, that aren’t being put to use for His glory), and in others it’s not so clear. This bothered me. The desires, new feelings, and shifted motives were coming too fast. I have been so used to knowing where, when, why, how and with whom my next step in life was, that this little moment of uncertainty made me anxious! Don’t get me wrong it is great hearing from the Lord; and it’s what I have been praying for right?

It’s so funny thinking of how we forget how faithful God is. He listens and responds to our every prayer, although it may not be on our timing or the answer we want to hear! Through my frustrations the Lord answered my prayers. I was watching a video one day, and this is what I got from it. Plans, dreams, motives, desires, they come and go. Even if your busily trying to advance the Kingdom of God, what's more important, reaching that goal or getting to know God. Are you willing to drop everything you have planned to just be with Him? Because He is willing to drop all your plans to result in a deeper & restored relationship with you. Wait on Him, Wait on Him, it’s that simple (at the same time it's utterly hard because we need to give our whole soul to do this.) Though none of my questions were answered I received a greater revelation. Jesus desires to just be with me! That’s why He gave me a desire to go deeper into His word and tugged at my heart for a stronger commitment in the secret place.

The father loves us so much, and truly delights in spending that one on one time with us. Let’s not get carried away by trying to figure out life, and just enjoy the beauty of sitting at His feet.

Luke 10:38-42 “As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!’ ‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’”

-Steph

Ah Jesus. When I have literally nothing will I praise you? This has been my prayer this week since Leadership Pipeline in my church. There I was shown a video where the pastor basically said "Man with many things and God is the same as a man who just had God". I personally was speechless to that statement. Because I thought to myself, doesn't God want me to be happy. So why would he not give me my heart desire in the world then to just take it all away.

Yet, I look at this video and below and my heart is just broken. The whole country of Haiti declares three days of fasting and prayer. Hearts are renewed as the Holy spirit literally gives them a heart to cry out to the Lord and be comforted. If he takes it all from me am I going to be mad and hurt or cry out to my father for his comfort and rescue? Watching this video gave me the answer. They stilled cried out no matter what!

~Faith

Haiti - "A Call To Fasting & Prayer" from anthony gehin on Vimeo.

After the incident with my parents in December, I have literally gone to the Lord every day and just asked him to fix the relationship with my parents. Like seriously, I don’t know how clear I was in my blog but when I came to Gville this January 2010 for school, I did not want to go back! I was so hurt, like the MEETINGS (must emphasize that there were numerous tearful meetings) with my parents kept running through my head and I had to continuously blink back tears the first week of January. I was literally crush and just hit my books hard! I was literally afraid to pursue God more but felt the need to just stay in the Library every day. I had to do well, so my parents could leave me alone. I prayed:

“Jesus, please just give them what they want, so they can leave me alone!”

Yes, my heart was slightly cold towards them! But knowing that what I felt inside between my parents wasn’t cool made me put that as my number one prayer request for 2010. I literally pray for that relationship everyday. I want it to get strengthen. I want us to be able to talk really talk, to have intimacy and affection. I want to see my parents name on my caller id and be elated instead of the feeling of “oh great” or “what now”. I want to be able to tell my parents of the new revelation that God has worked in my life. Of the struggle that I am going with. I want to hear of my parents struggle. I want transparency and love to overflow in our relationship!

Everyday I seek God in my quiet time for him to move in our relationship. Can I say that the Lord really spoken to me, like man! To my surprise there was a HUGE REBUKE, and many revelations on how our relationship should be( which is what I said in the previous paragraph). So I know you wondering, what is this HUGE REBUKE that Faith is talking about.

SUBMISSION AND RECOGNIZING MY AUTHORITY

In 1 Samuel 19-26 David is running for his life because King Saul want to kill him. David does not know why King Saul wants him dead because he has done nothing wrong to him. If anything David has brought much honor and security to his Kingdom. At one point Saul and his men retire in the same cave that David and his men were in( but they were at the way back so Saul and his men did not know). David’s men tell him that the Lord has delivered Saul to his hand (because Saul and his men were in a deep sleep at this time). However, David tells them that Saul was anointed by the Lord as king. How can he kill someone who is anointed by the Lord.

I read this in my quiet time this week and was like what???? I definitely would have been one of his men saying “yo David the Lord has answered your prayers, killing him now!” Yet, right then I would have been an agent from the devil because that would have been a lie! It was a test of submission. Saul clearly has gone on his own way, yet David remembered Saul foundation ,and that he was ordained from God has the King. He was like, let God handle this, but it will not be on my hands. When Saul woke up he wept at David feet because he saw how he spared his life, and said you truly are more righteous then me!

Man! That brings me to my relationship with my parents. My college pastor told me to let my life speak for itself so their eye s will be open to how God is manifested in me. Yet, by me not submitting to them with my actions and my HEART; I am now allowing God to move in my relationship with my parents. I still believe I know better when they say things that don’t make any sense. I am 20 years old! I am an adult. Yet I still need to submit to my parents and know that they do have authority over me. Even more to know that there authoritiy is valid becase every authority is ordained by God. Romans 13:1 If I really believe God is sovereign then I need to let God work in my relationship with parents. Even when I can’t see where it is going. I need to practice Faith knowing that I have the favor of God!

So many times, I don’t listen to my parents because I believe that I have better judgment. It is even easier for me to not obey them when I am in gville and they are in s.florida. Or if I do submit, I don’t submit with my heart. Right there I am not only disobeying my parents, but also disobeying God I am now allowing God to fix my relationship because I am not letting him shine in me when I halfway obey him!

When God open my eyes I immediately repented and humbly called my parents up and apologized to both.

One way that I was disobeying them was that my Father told me in the beginning of this semester to not get involved in any activities but to just face my studies. Yet, I thought to myself how can I not be involved. I need to build my resume and there is so much I want to accomplish this semester. So I did get involved in a couple of organizations and was left feeling COMPLETELY overwhelm at the end of January. As I prayed for time management skills, the holy spirit so nicely reminded me how my father told me not to get involved in more clubs this semester. Thus, I had to send some emails out and resign from some of the positions, and I told my parents what I did and asked for their forgiveness.

Already by me submitting, I feel like the communication line between my parents have gotten better. I do not feel as overwhelmed in school and life. And, the Lord has even open my eyes on better ways I can study and interact with my professor!

-Faith