Here's the previous blog if your wondering --> http://sovereigntylove.blogspot.com/2009/12/2010-goals_30.html

I thought I would give an account of my year hehe.

Diet: Well a euphemized version of one.
-Also Fail; I can't really do those things.
-Upside: I began cooking for myself more often; Future mother/wife win!

Exercise:
-Fail: Was not consistent at all!
-Upside: I learned the best main ways for me to workout are organized workouts; flag football, dance, working at a summer camp.

Sabbath:
-Working on it: Didn't really begin till Fall though.
-Upside: The Lord is gracious

Budget:
-Fail: ehhh its more like I need someone to budget my food and grocery shopping for me. It's all I spend money on.
-Upside: None =[

Reading:
-Nah: Did not get to 10 but maybe 3 lol
-Upside: I'm going to Barnes and Noble to pick out two books for the New Year and I made a promise not to buy anymore till I finish mine at home. (I'm going to begin the Narnia series yay!)

Increase study of Gods Word:
-Yes: but I long for so much more! I want to be in love and reverence of His Word like David in Psalm 119 ... I will speak more on this later.

Support (financial & time) a local ministry/outreach:
-Not local but it has stolen my heart, Hananasif, an orphanage/secondary school in Tanzania. I went on a missions trip to Africa in June. I plan to still commit them to prayer and financially. I've also with our group have begun brainstorming ways to keep supporting them, like a dance fundraiser we recently had!

Learn how to knit:
-Score; I've also discovered I love crafty projects!

Begin weekly studies for the GRE with Faith:
-Fail ... my plans for schooling alway waver so we'll see when God wants to start preparing me for life after graduation!

Ha, so as I told Faith we were a bit overzealous with our plans. I love how she quoted James 4:13-17. Some days I would really stop and wonder is this all worth it; if I was to die tomorrow, should I be investing, worrying, or taking time on this. Sometimes the answer was yes, others no. I still think goals are a great thing to set, but I've learned they need to be goals that I have worked out with God in prayer first before I commit to them.

Well I'm sure my heart is set on many goals for 2011, but here is one that I know God has been pulling me to... so I'll share. I really want to read all the Bible. Yes, this can lead to many beginnings and no sucessful ending, but I think it will stretch me. I found this 2 year plan that goes in sequential order.
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2010/12/29/two-year-bible-reading-plan/

I've realized that my brain works chronologically and jumping from book to book doesn't work quite well. When I first began reading the Bible I would finish whole books, and I feel that I got more out of the scripture that way. Of course I may stray every so often to study a passage with my Small Group, or simply Spirit led, but I am taking the few days before the new year to pray that God would grow me in the knowledge and truth of His Word. I'm excited! Guess you can't get a full update with that till the end of 2012 huh? =]

Let me know if you would like to join me! We can keep one another accountable and have discussions. & If you've never read the Bible, pick it up read a little a day and see what God can do!

This was long, sorry, love you -Stephanie

In the Beginning of the Year I and Stephanie made some goals...lets see how many I actually did
Faith's 2010 Goals:
*Raise Awareness about Chocolate Slave by starting a Campaign in Uf
I have raised awarness and have told people about it, but still haven't been able to do a campaign
*Become a mentor either through Big Brothers Big Sisters or Tutor at East Side
* Keeping the Sabbath and read Christian Books during my Sabbath
I have barely kept the Sabbath. During the Summer I completely forgot you were suppose to Sabbath (smh)
*Praying With My sisters on the Phone weekly
Epic Failure...only did it like twice
*Staying connected with my friends down south by bi-weekly talks instead using txting as my communication to them
I am still in contact with them...but didn't have the time to talk them bi-weekly
*Get a Summer Job
Praise the Lord I did!
*Following a proposed budget (learn how to make your own budget on Excel here: http://www.vertex42.com/ExcelArticles/how-to-budget.html)
Didn't even make a budget!
*Tithing even before I get a summer Job...hence strengthening my Faith in God with my funds
My tithing wasn't how is should of been
*Learn How to play Worship Songs on the Piano during the summer
Organic 1 and 2 Took over my life plus work
*Start Christian Open Mics with the J Movement
It was amazing!
*Read ahead
Failure

*study for the MCAT & GRE
Epic Fail
My work out plan was an Epic Failure also!!!




To be honest this is all quite embarrassing. I publicly made so many goals and didn't even complete half of it! However, I believe I know why. In the beginning of this year I made all this goals that I believe I could carry out. But who am I to boast in the future? It is actually a sin to boast in the future with out saying Lord's willingly.

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” ¹⁴ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. ¹⁵ Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” ¹⁶ As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. ¹⁷ If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.
James 4:13-17

For 2011 I don't have a set goals, as of right now. I feel like I am in front of like 5 doors and not sure which one the Lord is going to give me the key to walk through. So, I am taking life one step at a time. Going to concentrate on stewarding what the Lord has already given me this year

a) I am a college student and thus Lord willingly I would like to excel in all my classes and graduate in may 2012
b) The Lord has given me an opportunity to be a research assistance at the United States Department of Agriculture thus, Lord willingly I would like to gain as much skills and knowledge from that job
c) (no reason why this is last) but I just want to draw closer to the Lord and keep my eyes and ears open to the opportunities he drops my way.

I don't want to be sleeping when he has already told me to keep watch and miss his blessings

<3 Faith

I would say that I believe God wants to use me to do something great. I don't know how to explain it but he has given me so much fire and passion for developing countries. I can wait to see how he uses me to glorify his name. Like Sho Baraka said "I just want to make you famous Lord"

Listen to the Song
Famous by Sho Baraka

So today I felt a little discourage in my abilities to share the gospel with others lately. I have been praying for people; praying for moments; wanting to step out in boldness but really just falling flat.

But my discouragements were based on false premises. The same reason that I long for others around me to know Christ is the same purpose that will drive me to share the gospel with others. I am not insufficient because I am but a deliverer. The changing power is not layed upon my shoulders. It is only by the Spirit of God that I can share the mysteries of God, and something happens. It is only by the power of Christ on the cross that the lost around me will get saved. In knowing I am but a lowly servant that the Lord chooses to use, He pleases to make Himself known through me.

You see it's far less complicated than my error full ways; because if it was about me, Christ would not be exalted.

1 Corinthians 1: 21-24 "For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. Jews demand signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God."

1 Corinthians 2:12 "This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words."

-Stephanie

Two unrelated thoughts brought on by a scripture and a quote. (Hey I did say I would blog more)

Ecclesiastes 7:10 "Do not say, 'Why were the old days better than these?' For it is not wise to ask such questions."

So I was thinking we're human! How can we possibly not look back to the good old days? I particularly am very guilty of this. I am a sucker for a recording of notes, songs, sounds, memories. All these things can be great but they also produce a state of comfort, and that is the danger, we cannot become comfortable on this Earth.

It is when I'm comfortable that I don't long to be with Jesus.

It is when I'm comfortable that my heart doesn't break for the lost.

It is when I'm comfortable when I lose faith in the supernatural.

The problems are visible the answer is Jesus...

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." -C.S. Lewis

Now that I think about it the topic is pretty similar. I looked up the definition of rouse. (though context clues is a wonderful skill; I love to discover the exact meaning of words not in my daily vocabulary) anywhoo it means: to bring out of a state of sleep, unconsciousness, inactivity, fancied security, apathy,depression, etc.

Sounds like comfort, eh? So though the world's question is always how can a loving God allow people to experience so much pain, maybe we should question

Who are we to deduce that this pain is useless and especially as Christians, if this pain can cause us to wake from a state of comfort and grow closer to the knowledge of our Lord Jesus, who are we to reject it.

Love Steph.

I've been thinking about unity lately. God really loves unity! So much that in Ephesians 4:3 Paul ask to endeavor (Greek translations includes haste or give diligence) to keep the unity of Spirit in the bond of peace.

God is so creative and has made our world diverse. As people we are all unique almost as much so as the countless animals and plants you can name. Yet instead of forming us initially as a diverse group of people, God formed the mankind with Adam and Eve, 2 humans made in the image of Himself. Now of course they were fruitful and multiplied and bam 6 billion ( I think ) people now live on Earth.

So how can we possibly be united? In Ephesians Paul was speaking to the body of Christ. If you continue to read verses 6-7 you see we are united by the Spirit of God. There is only 1 true God and can you imagine His Spirit dwelling in us is the ultimate unifyier. It's His Spirit in you that draws you to His other children.

So how do we diligently work to unify the body? By humbling ourselves. No not the humbling which truly is prideful because we want our "humble" ways to be acknowledge. We can only learn to be lowly by looking at Jesus our greatest example (Philippians 2). Once again the answer is Jesus! Giving diligence to keeping unity teaches us more about our savior.

Ephesians 4:13 "until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ."

-Stephanie

It's the end of my semester and there have been many moments in my life that I have am at the current state that I am as write this blog....TIRED

I am tired. I have just gotten off the plane of intense studying for my Biology 2 exam. I have two more exams that I need to study for and do well but my brain has become like a mushy sponge and my body is tired.

The only way that I have gotten out of this pool is by asking for the Lord strength. That sounds so simple right. But after like the third time of me trying to get out of this "can't study pool" to study for my next exam I find myself stuck...or not having enough strength to pull myself out!


It was actually frustrating, because I'm like why can't I just pull my self out? and then the Holy Spirit whispers to me "Exactly Faith, you can't pull yourself out. You need my strength. Isn't this what you been praying for, for you to be utterly dependent on me?"


Right then I was speechless because I do want to be utterly dependent on the Lord, to the point that something so simple as studying should be done by the Lord's strength and not mines.

So, as I lay in my bed writing this blog, I know what I have to do. I need to just pray to the Lord for his strength. For him to renew my mind and strength.

-Faith

"An unmarried woman is concerned about the Lords affair. Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord, both in bodily and spirit." - 1 Corinthian 7:34

This verse has been my life verses as a single woman who loves Jesus. Like, that is why I love the Bible so much, because it literally say everything about everything. Even more, it literally spells out everything, about everything. As a single women, the Lord just wants us to be concerned about the Lords affair. Of course, this is easier said than done, and that is why I have to meditate on this verse. That is why I have to consistently be doing the 1 Corinthian 7:34 test which is: asking myself who have I been living for lately? Has it been for myself or the Lord. A lot of the times it is for myself sadly, but God's grace has been pruning me to bear his fruit instead of the fruits of this world.

One thing that the Lord has continue fueling the passion in my heart for is--international affairs in developing countries. My heart literally breaks when I think of about it, and I just ask the Lord what can I do. So many ideas run in my head about the future to the point that I wish I could be doing things now. In the future when I'm a doctor (Lord's willingly) I will become a International doctor who aids those who can't pay me back. In the future after I graduate (Lord's willingly) I will go to the peace corp for 2 years and then med school. This summer (Lord's willingly) I will be able to go to a missions trip to Nicaragua for 2 1/2 weeks. And these idea's are just the big ones!

Now back to present/past.

Around the summer time, I started thinking about my 21st birthday and how I would celebrate it. Attending my College Pastor Birthday, he said something that really stuck with me. "Birthdays are just a day for people to worship you for a day" When he said that, I was in shocked because it was true. He then turned his birthday to a time for us to worship the Lord for a good 45 mins or so. Then in August, the Senior Pastor of my church asked the whole congregation to not give anything to him for his birthday but to give to missions. (My church First Assembly of God, is very big on missions. Our goal is to give half of every offering to missions)

When he said that it made me self reflect on my birthday. The Lord has given me a heart for mission and my birthday is way that I can respond. Thus, I asked the Lord who I should be raising money on for my birthday. That's when he reminded me of the Haitian Women Beading Business. $35 is enough money to help one women start her beading business in Haiti. So it was set, my 21st birthday Celebration was going to be partly a fundraiser for the women of Haiti.

I was very speechless in the response that people were to the idea of my party. I really didn't see it as a big deal that I was raising my party for my 21st bday. And I believe that, that was the Lord who ultimately blinded me from the magnitude of what I was doing-- to keep me humbled and not self-righteous. I also, believe it is what happens when you ultimately want to do what the Lord wants to. You just care about pleasing him and responding to his call and not what man expects of you


Can I please brag on Jesus for a minute?
A friend of a friend heard about my birthday and wrote an article on it for her reporting class at University of Florida. Her article got published in the Gaineville Sun Newspaper! I am just shocked and amazed! Jesus! Like, I just want to make you Famous like Sho Baraka would say!

Click on this link to read the article:

























-Faith

I miss blogging and journaling. This semester has been crazy and my poor little hobbies are getting squeezed out one by one. Then I realized they are more than hobbies, they're outlets the Lord has given me... no wonder I have been feeling so overwhelmed lately. I am not even abiding and obeying His command to rest in Him. Well all that to say I will be blogging more, for the sake of not going crazy, for the sake of resting! Oh resting you even sound and look so sweet upon my computer screen...hehe.. Here are some verses I have been chewing on till I really get time to blog.

Psalm 34:4-7

I sought the LORD, and he answered me;he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant;their faces are never covered with shame.This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;he saved him out of all his troubles.The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.

Isaiah 55:10-11

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty,but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

James 3:3-6

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

Oh Lord, your words are like honey to my soul!

Kwaheri ya kuozungumzana. [Goodbye, till we speak to each other]

-Steph

I have so much to live up to being that my name is "Faith". Surprisingly, I never understood exactly what my name meant until around the time I started writing this blog.(I was 19 when I started this blog, and now I am 21)

Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance in what we do not see ~ Hebrews 11:1.

To go even deeper -- Faith is walking with a blindfold over my eyes, because I know longer have confidence in what I see. Faith is living a life that pleases the Lord, and a life that pleases the Lord is the opposite of how the world wants us to live.

Today, I was struggling with my Faith. Because recently, the Lord burden my heart with something that I shared with some brothers and sisters. I believed that after I shared what was on my heart that my brothers and sisters would respond. Yet, to my surprise only half of them responded for whatever reason. I was not mad at them, however I felt like I was ineffective. Thoughts came to my mind of "Why did you even share it?" or "No one even cares about what the Lord put upon your heart" Those are the thoughts that have been visiting me every once in awhile. The feeling of ashamed and unnoticed creeps upon me sometimes as well because I inferred the impression that what the Lord put upon my heart wasn't important.

But then the Holy Spirit reminded me that what I have done pleases my heavenly Father and that all that should matter. I didn't speak up to please man, but to respond to the Holy Spirit. In everything, if man is not please or is silent-so what, because your heavenly Father is Pleased.

How quickly I forget who I live for; when I don't live for the Lord but for myself, or for man. Hence, the principle of seeking Jesus daily.

"Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; and you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit apart form me you can do nothing." ~ John 15: 4-5

The essence of Faith is stepping out and trusting the Lord. So many times the Lord speaks to me and wants me to respond, yet I am silent and the enemy has won. Then there are times when I do speak out but look at my surroundings and assume that I am alone. Those are the times the enemies words have successfully sunk in to my heart. But thanks be to God for He has ultimately won the war! Because when I am are weak he is strong! (2 Corinthians 12:10) And that's what I need to put my confidence in when I do step out in Faith, not putting my confidence in what lies before me. But trusting in a Faithful and Just God who loves and is exemplified when I put my Faith in Him

Ps: I wrote this blog after I found the Picture...pretty cool how the Lord works :)

~Faith

I choose to love ...
Even when I'm not sure what love really is. Pondering if the way my culture has shown me, is what I should embrace. Half not believing love is true, or will last because it only seems to lead to unhappy endings or unrealistic ones.
I choose to love ...
Even when it scares me. Giving out my heart means beginning a tie that goes deep to my soul; worrying if it would be taken care of on the other end. Or would it be left bruished, abandonded, battered.
I choose to love...
Even when that means stepping out of my comfort zone, which I have been safely and securley resting in. No worries nor troubles; just me. Because stepping out would mean being vunerable, and I don't know if I'm ready to be put on center stage.
I choose to love...
Even when I fail at it. When I'm told I'm not good enough, that I'm inexperienced and have the ability to break someone else's heart. As I realize its not all about me, but I hold delicate hearts of those around me.
I choose to love...
Because you chose to love me. Not only 2000 years ago, but continually. At a time when I was selfish and only looked out for my own feelings. You put your own feelings of betrayal aside and continued to draw me in.
You chose to love me...
From the day I was imagined and brought to life as a canvas receives paint. You knew the past, you know the present, and you hold my future. You will not leave me until I have become the beautiful masterpiece you began.
You chose to love me...
By showing me that love isnt something to fear, but somthing to cherish, that each and every smile in my life is a hand wrapped gift from you to show me just how much you love me.
You chose to love me.
By paying the ultimate price, giving up not a wage, but the ultimate price. Yourself. So that I can live knowing what life is. You have made a way for me to enter into your dwelling place.

Though it's hard, magnificient, scary, thrilling, uncertain: I choose to love only because you loved me first.

-Stephanie

Low self- esteem was accredit to my Diva attitude and shopaholic ways. I write to use as an Ex-Diva who for so long looked up to the celebrities as the highest standards of the woman that I needed to become. I thought that I would only be accepted if I just looked like them. Hence, I started to dress the "acceptable way" and I started highlighting my appearance to fit this image that I long to become.

Coming to the Lord, He exposed the lies of the devil. He showed me that he had a completely different definition of beauty from the way the world define beauty

³Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. ⁴Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. ⁵For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.
- 1 Peter 3:3-5

I was completely blown away when I read that verse. Like the Lord literally has a definition of beauty. After the Lord revealed these verse to me he asked me to throw away my make-up. Now mind you, I had good amount of makeup and loved wearing make-up. However, my flesh loved when I wore make up. Internally, I believed I was just this untouchable beautiful person every time I wore makeup. When I didn't have make I honestly felt ugly. Like, I would just point at my imperfections every time I looked into the mirror.

I hated looking at myself.

And that's why the Lord ask me throw away my makeup and allow him to transform me inside out. I consecrated myself to the Lord for 6 months of not wearing make-up. At first I honestly hated it! Like I just want to put some make up whenever I went out so I can feel nice. But in between those months the Lord work in me. He said "I want to be your prize beauty not your outwardly beauty. For baby girl, me and you, our love and intimacy only grows. While your outwardly beauty fades. The worlds definition of beauty is forever changing with different styles. But you are my beloved and my love for you will never waver, and never change. The only thing between us that will change is us drawing closer to each other."

Why did I start wearing make up again? I started wearing make up again because the Lord has truly transformed me from the inside out. I can look at myself in the mirror without make-up and smile at myself while the Lord tells me "see faith you are beautiful." He has also shown me that make-up is just like wearing a nice dress. It does enhance your appearance but it doesn't define your beauty. So I have started wearing make-up and feel beautiful with it on and with it off.


One thing that I have consecrated to the Lord is not wearing make-up in the house of God. So when I go to church on Sunday I don't wear make-up because I am going to worship the Lord and he does not consider me more beautiful with makeup. He desires my heart and my quite spirit more than the way I am dress or what I have on my face.

Because of Jesus I can truly say that I feel beautiful in my naked skin

<3 Faith

These song is so beautiful and the lyrics are so deep and beautiful

Her headaches are constant,

Increasing in pain

With each passing day.

She can't even manage

To stand on her own, it's gotten so bad.

Now you think of saying

There's no use in praying.

And still, she bows her head.

So she can say

Thank you for just one more day.

Supernatural patience

Graces her face

And her voice never raises.

All because of a love

Never let go of, never let go.

He has every reason to throw up his fists

In the face of his God

Who let his mother die.

Through all the prayers and tears,

She still passed in pain anyway.

Now you think of saying

There's no use in praying

And still, he bows his head.

So he can say

Thank you for ending her pain.

Supernatural patience

Graces his face

And his voice never raises.

All because of a love

Never let go of.

Never let go of...

He is teaching me...

What love really means...

Supernatural patience

Graces his faces

And his voice never raises.

All because of a love

Never let go of

Yes it's supernatural patience

Graces his face

And his voice never raises.

All because of a love

Never let go of

Never let go of...

He is teaching me...

What love really means.

~ Faith

This is the first poem I wrote after I rededicated my life. I literally just started comparing God's love to the love that past men in my life gave me. As I wrote I just knew that God's love was sooo much deeper and tangible!

For the Love of Love
The wanting to belong
Because if I am loved
Then I am excepted
and If I am excepted
then I am wanted
If I am wanted
then I am needed
Then If I am needed
Then I am Happy

Yet happiness doesnt last forever
but Joy comes from the Lord
and if Joy comes from the Lord
Then I am loved
not just "loved"
But Loved UNCONDITIONALLY

My God isn't someone who has ever told me he loved me
Then took it Back
He has never told me he loved me
and never followed through with his actions
My God has never made me cry

But the Complete opposite,
He has always been there for me
He is My strength
He does Complete me
Since the first day
I said those two words "I do"
I do want you Lord in my life
I do want the Holy Spirit to be my Guidenance
I am thankful for the Cross
and I cant imainge my life without you

I am even thankful for your
EVERLASTING LOVE
because my vow to you Father God
does not included
"to death do us part"
because my mind is set on things above
and I cant wait to live forever with my Savior

No one can replace you
and I am thankful for that

Patiently, I wait trusting
that one day you will send me someone
on earth that is as in love with you as I am
and will be by my side to worship you and HONOR you
MY LORD

But until then
Continue to bathe me with your:
love
mercy
grace
wisdom
and understanding
Cleansing me from all my sins
and making me one of your pearls

~Faith

I am consumed with this world.
With this very day.

Yet I am a sojourner of this land.

Some days I'm am longing desperately to be with Jesus. Words can't express. It is a new feeling because I never really experienced love like this. The only earthly experience I can relate it to is being away from my family. When I spend weeks away at school I feel like there is a hole being built within my heart as I long to see my family.

Yet other days all my mind is consumed with my life on Earth. You can tell by some of the attitudes I bear. Being annoyed, stressed, self-consumed.

Then reality hits, my tomorrow is not promised. (James 4) Ok, so everyone says they believe this, but do I live my life as if this is a reality. Do I love with all my might? What if I only had one more day to show those who I am surrounded by that I love them. Can I love that way all the time?

I want to live life with an eternal set of eyes. I want my heart positioned in a place where I am giving myself away selfishly. Where my desires are glorifying Jesus in all I do.

A sister I love in Tanzania, as well as many of the other students would frequently start their prayers in such a manner as this ...
" Jesus, we thank you for waking us up today. Many people did not wake up today. But we were able to wake up and see another day..."
and they would say it with such sincerity in their hearts.

I want to wake up each day, and thank God that I am alive not only with my words, but with my actions.

-Stephanie

Hi. Where do I begin? I'm so happy to be home and resting. I just came off from being a counselor at a camp for abused and neglected children (more about that later).

I absolutely miss Tanzania and my family at HOCET dearly. Any time someone ask me to describe the trip in short, I can only reply that it was amazing. I need hours, no days and many paragraphs to describe the things I've seen, people I met, and moments I have experienced in Africa. So I figured little by little I would spill my heart & some pictures for you guys!

One of my favorite things to do at the Shamba (the academy and where all the older students live) was to sing and worship with everybody. My most memorable Ibada (worship) was outside on a beautiful night.

That same afternoon I went to help my friend, Jovini, wash his clothes ... OK I really didn't help it was more like he attempted to teach me, but I wasn't quite good/fast enough. But anyway I was talking and keeping him company while he washed his clothes at the river. I sat on the ground and looked at the sky; and literally squealed with excitement. The sky was clear, and beautifully clear blue I may add. We had been at the Shamba for around 3 nights and the skies had always been too cloudy to see stars at night. I told Jovini how excited I was for tonight and we continued to talk about other stuff. Fast forward the sun is setting, which is always beautiful and quite fast. Some people on the team and I are sitting outside our door singing and worshiping. Some more people on the team join us and we decide to ask two students who were also singing if we could join them. A couple of minutes, a guitar, and drum later, it was pitch black except for light shining from the hundreds of stars in the night sky and we were surrounded by tons of students, the rest of our team, and some other volunteers. We sang, danced, and worshiped for what seemed like not long enough. It was so amazing to be surrounded by my brothers and sisters singing to our creator who gave us that beautiful night sky. He is the same amazing God who loves everyone at HOCET, and who gave me an opportunity to fall in love with them as well. I will never forget that night.

The sun setting at the Shamba.

All of us worshiping

Jovini, Brent, and Anthony

Love Stephanie

So I am sitting on my bed in my parents house writing this blog. Man, can I just say that Jesus is so good; and he that waits upon the Lord will fly like eagles Isaiah 40:31. As I stated in my previous blog I have been praying for the Lord to just fix my relationship with my parents. I have been praying now for 6 months without ceasing believe that Lord hears my prayer.

Tonight we had a family meeting which consisted of my 2 sisters and I and my parents. Usually, I hate these meetings because its usually my parents going down on us on how we are just not meeting up to their expectations. But today there was rebuking but mostly laughing. Like there was so much laughter in the room!

There were times when I wanted to cry, but it wasn't because I didn't feel like my efforts were in vain. It was more because they told me 2 of my family members pasted away. What hurts the most about that news is the fact that I never even spoke to them. They were my own flesh and blood but yet I never knew them.

The other moment was when my step mom really broke down how much we mean to our grandparents on my biological mom side. (My mom died in a car accident by a drunk driver when I was in 1st grade) She said that if we were back home my grandparents would have raised me so they could at least look at us and say that have a piece of their daughter Abigail.

The last time I have seen my grandparents it was when my biological mom was alive which was when I was 2 years old, and now I am 20. I have gone 18 years without seeing them! It really just breaks my heart.

In it all the Lord really brought peace in the meeting. There were some rebuking but it didn't come off intense like it usually was. And the last like 20-30 min was just on stories and laughter. For the first time I was happy to be in our family meeting.

I have been away from home for so long. Like in 6 months I have only been home 2x. But between those months I have been on my knees crying out to the Lord to fix my family...and he has and he will continue to fix my family for His glory!

Thank you Jesus

~Faith

6 months later and I am so grateful that the Lord has taken me out of my hurricane. 6 months ago I wrote a blog in tears called What do you do when God says no (http://sovereigntylove.blogspot.com/search/label/God%27s%20Sovereignty) I was literally heart broken in the way that my parents attacked me for not passing Biology. I was literally persecuted with words by them that just tore me down. With my broken heart I urged my parents to understand that I am a child of God and that I am honestly walking in the steps that he has ordered for me.

In my quiet time spent with the Lord from Jan 1, 2010 I prayed that the Lord would amend my relationship with my parents. Their words were so strong that when I came back to Gainesville, Fl I honestly didn't want to go back home. I was scared. From their reaction I got the impression that if I didn't do well in school they would disown me. It hurt so bad because the enemy was just really talking in my ear and reminding me of every hurtful word that my father said to me.

But thanks be to God because I knew this pain towards my parents was not from the Lord. I held on to my faith and knew that God had a purpose for this and he is going to make a way out that brings him glory. I also, prayed that he would teach me how to love my parents, because at that time I honestly never want to go back home.

Through out the months the Lord has soften my heart towards and them and I have seen my prayers being answered. First, the spirit told me to start having purpose conversations with them about what the Lord is doing in my life and what the Lord was doing in their life. Those conversations were good and I knew my parents could really see that the Spirit lives in me.

Secondly, I've been praying for my parents to have more faith in the Lord about what he is doing in MY life. And lets just say that I received a call one day from my parents saying that they recently had to repent to the Lord for their lack of faith! Ah Jesus, thank you so much. And now I can say that my relationship with my parents 6 months later has gotten a lot better. However, there is still that spirit of fear in my parents about my academics, which is something that I still need to be offering to the Lord in prayer more than I have.

If there was anything I would say about this hurricane to the Lord it would simply be thank you. Thank you Lord for giving me perseverance.
Thank you Lord for teaching me how to trust you.
Thank you Lord for strengthening my faith.
Thank you Lord for allowing me to literally hear your voice.
Thank you Lord for allowing me to be more intimate with you.
Thank you Lord for wiping away my tears.
Thank you Lord for embracing me in my darkest days and telling me to have more faith.
Thank you Lord for giving me people to go down on their knees for my behalf and interceed
Thank you Lord because without this Hurricane our relationship with would never have been soooo strong like it is today

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. ⁴Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ~James 1:2-4

~Faith

Confession: I have started like 2 blog entries but was inturpetted and was lazy to finish. The Lord has given me several blog ideas to write lately and I just "didn't feel like writting it". But the Lord has like truly convicited during my quite time just now. I'm doing praise and worship to the song "I Give Myself Away" by William McDowell.(which I don't even know how I discovered this song...lets just say it was divine!) But the Lyrics start of singing "I give myself away. My life is in your hand. Lord I want you to see your desire revealed in me. I give my self away. I give myself SO YOU CAN USE ME." I always want the Lord to use me but just when he wants to use me I behave like I live for myself and say I don't feel like it right now. Yet, I currently have a free week to relax and SHOULD be stewarding my time wisely. Let's just say that there will be more blogs coming up of what I felt the Lord wanted me to share. Here is the song. It's really amazing!


~Faith Umoh

Hello blog world I'm off to Tanzania in 4 days & I'm beyond excited and can't wait to share some of my thoughts, experiences, and feelings in a couple weeks on my blog. (I won't have access to internet, just a good 'ol pen and journal =]). Please continue to keep me and my team in your prayers!

So I read this quote on Twitter yesterday (Yes, Twitter is actually useful for one thing, a main reason I go on is to follow blogs/quotes, haha I say this to justify myself ) Anywhoo...

"The most dangerous thing is to take any 1 impulse of our nature & set it up as the thing you ought to follow at all costs" -C.S. Lewis

I LOVE this! When I first read it I was like Oh yea sooo true. Thinking about the many things we follow in this world that lead us to nothing, such as greed and lust! That is because the very backbone of these matters is that our nature is ultimately sinful! And in Romans Paul says the ultimate wage of sin is death, there is no going around that. Which is why Jesus died on the cross for us and took that penalty to offer us life! But after processing the quote for a little bit I began to see deeper into it. What about the things of our nature that we have that aren't always bad? Such as feelings of dependency, vulnerability, or anger. It's so easy to take our emotions to either extreme. Either were consumed by them allowing them to silence the truth. Or we ignore them pushing them to the back corner, and I'm guilty of both. Its when we take things that were made to be glorified in the nature of God, and distort them in our own nature that they become bad. God has made me to be love, to want to be sought after, and depend completely on Him. But somewhere between a culture that values independence and lies of my own human nature, I hated my feelings of being dependent. I chose to ignore my longing for community till it sucked me dry and God intervened with His truth. And now I'm learning why my feelings really did matter. It is God's nature to live in community, to be loved, to love, to give words of affirmation, and encourage one another. From as much as I'm still trying to comprehend from the doctrine of the trinity and how Jesus spoke about Father (John 17), I know community matters! I was made in the image of God, and me trying to push away my feelings was like I was ripping out a plant inside of my soul, that God had sown into me far before I was formed (Jeremiah 1:4-5).

So I guess I'm just saying think about some of your impulses (whether you may view them as good or bad) that you are devoted to in your own nature, but can be redeemed by the very nature of God? It might surprise you =].

Love Steph

Jesus is so good! For a couple months, I have been craving to hear more from Francis Chan and get discipled by him. I say this because I really believe that he is our modern day prophet. I really believe he is anointed by the Holy Spirit. God has used him to challenged my Faith in such a way that has literally made my passion and walk for Jesus more stronger.

On Sunday, April 18th 2010, Chan announced to his congregation that he felt called to resign at Cornerstone in Simi Valley to pursue what God has put in his heart, to start a new Cornerstone Church in some big city as example LA, New York or San Francisco, but he is not sure yet which city he will go to.^[ I was deeply sad by this, because I have been getting disciples by his podcast sermons. In it all, I just want to give God all the glory because today my big brother Francisco gave me the book Forgotten God Francis Chan on audio for free! :) Well actually, Christian Audio gave it to me. But he informed me about it. So I will be reading that book or listen to that book for the next few weeks and most likely blogging about it! YAY! You are welcome to join me on reading it. And man, if you want to discussed the book definitely get at me! I love to get stirred up by the disciples in the spirit!




Here is how to purchase the audio book for free!
1. Go to this website:www.christianaudio.com
2. Search: Francis Chan and then look for the book under him called "The Forgotten God"
3. when they ask for special code put this code in : JUN2010
4. Listen to the book and email me if you want to discuss the book ;)
Faithu4@gmail.com


~Faith

My cousin and I made this video after seeking the Lord and really diving into Proverbs 31. After we had devotions we were just blown away by this chapter and really felt it on our hearts to make a video about or devotions and share it with Kingdom :)








~Faith

God has really taken me a long way. I remember in late August sitting in small group listen to Robyn talk about transparency and the importance of it. She said if you can not be transparent with your sins then that means you still identify yourself with that sin. By not being transparent you are robbing God of His glory. You are still allowing the devil to condemn you.

When she said that I was blown away. Each point just cut my heart deep. I was very very ashamed of my testimony and found myself crying at the end of small group. I didn't want to steal God of his glory but yet I was. I didn't want my name to be put in a bad light. People are going to see that little miss church girl Faith was actually a very scandalous girl on the inside.

So, I decided to just seek God and ask Him to cleanse me of his shame. I first reflect on Romans 8: 1-2¹Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,^a]">[a] ²because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. I constantly meditated on this verse whenever I was feeling condemn and held tight to his promises. Jesus died on the cross for the same sin that I am ashamed of. It is finish! This is only Satan trying to hold this over me not the Lord, because he has forgiven me!

Through out my sophomore year the Lord has been pruning and giving me the spirit of boldness to testify of what the Lord has done for me. It's just amazing to see the Lords work because the previous blog is all God. Like I just felt a pull that people need to know what the Lord has set me free from. People need to know his Glory and really stop putting Faith Umoh in a good light. None of my achievements will ever compare to bondage that the Lord has broken me from and the eternal life that he has given me through His grace.

It's like the Lord has done a full 180 degree on my life. Like I truly have died to my old self, and honestly could not have gotten here without me really seeking the Lord for myself. By me receiving the Lords correction and begging for him to fix me! I really just want to encourage anyone who is ashamed of their testimony to really seek God and ask him to deliver you from the shame.

Revelation 12:11
1They overcame him
by the blood of the Lamb
and by the word of their testimony;


Luke 9:22-26
Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. ²⁴For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. ²⁵What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self? ²⁶If anyone is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.

Galatians 1:10¹⁰Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

~Faith

Christianity ... selfish ... religion. These words don't seem to go well together, but I was partaking in my favorite past time [ reading blogs =) ] & I really felt conviction come upon me. As much as I have learned this lesson over and over and over within the past year, I don't think my heart has fully grasped it. I don't think my mind wraps around the seriousness of Jesus' actions on the cross. He was burning with passion, passion for us, passion to set us free from death & sin, and passion to give us revelation of His love for us. So If I'm a follower of Christ, I must have this same passion & if I don't I can ask Him for it! I must long for others to see His love, I must be thrilled to see people set free from bondage, and to share the good news to the ends of the earth. But I turn off evangelism as if being a follower of Jesus is a part time job that I can clock out of.

I'm tired of Christianity being a selfish religion.

I'm tired of knowing of the riches in Christ and knowing that so many lost souls need to hear that God loves them, but I stand back because of inconvenience. I want to rely on His grace to bring me through situations even when I'm left feeling rejected. We need to move from the idea that God will allow us to speak or move in due time. This is entirely true, but the problem is we're not even listening to His voice to figure out when He's moving. & He's moving all the time! We need to go deeper in our relationship with God, learn to hear His voice, and then obey where He's taking us. When the basis of a religion is sacrifice, hoarding it is quite the oxymoron!

Lord, help this not to be just words I'm typing, or a conviction we blow off.

^{Luke 14:33 "In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple."}

Matthew 28:19 "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Acts 1:8 "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."

-Stephanie

I find myself asking the same question. Why are you sending me to Africa Lord? What can I possibly do for them? Isn’t that so like us? Doubting our abilities, when the Lord just wants to show us how He is going to use our flimsy abilities to show His powerful strength. So I’m going to write my hopes/desires for this trip and let the truth of God’s word shine through my insecurities.

To see. I want to see how God’s hand has been moving at the Hananasif orphanage center & in Tanzania. As a college ministry we have been supporting them for a little while now, but stepping foot in Tanzania is going to make it so much more real.

To feel. My heart breaks for the fatherless, sometimes even more than I wish/am ever prepared for. I sometimes find myself in tears asking God why. But He of course is the Father to the fatherless, and he constantly reminds me of how His heart longs for them even more than mine can imagine. I cannot wait to love on the children. I know at times it will be hard and my heart may break, but through that I’m ready to gain more of the Lord’s heart.

To learn. I can’t wait to see how the Lord is going to use me and the team of us going to Tanzania. God has even been teaching me lessons on trust, dependency, offense, and love through our team, and I want us to continue to grow as a family.

To have fun! I want to hear how the kids will react to my month learned Swahili and English songs. I want to play and do activities with them, and just hang out with them just like I hang out with my friends in the U.S.

To experience change. No, not that, I used to live in Miami now I live in Tampa kind of change. Actually, I perceived that I liked change, but then I thought about it … how much change have I really experienced?! Not much, I want to be put wayyy out of my comfort zone, which I know I will be. I want to be knocked down to the point that I know I only have God’s strength to carry me. I want to be used by God, and hear the movements of His Spirit, and then follow where I’m led.

I can go on and on. As the days get closer, I keep hearing my teammates voice in my head saying, “We’re going to Africa.” You know what I am going to Africa, aren’t I. Who woulda thunk it?!

Would you please support me and pray for the Hananasif Orphanage Center, the children there, our trip to Tanzania, me & my team, my funding, and that through all the plans Jesus’ name would be glorified. Thank You.

Love, Stephanie

¹ Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

² Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-

³ who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,

⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,

⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

⁶ The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.

⁷ He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:

⁸ The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.

⁹ He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;

¹⁰ he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.

¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;

¹² as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

¹³ As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;

¹⁴ for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.

¹⁵ As for man, his days are like grass,
he flourishes like a flower of the field;

¹⁶ the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.

¹⁷ But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD's love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children's children-

¹⁸ with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.

¹⁹ The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.

²⁰ Praise the LORD, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.

²¹ Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.

²² Praise the LORD, all his works
everywhere in his dominion.
Praise the LORD, O my soul.

-Stephanie