I don’t know how long you have been following Steph’s and my blog but two years ago I wrote a blog called “What do you do when God says no”. I wrote that blog at one of the lowest points of my life. I honestly don’t know how I got through that situation without God. For four months after, I wrote that blog I was a bomb ready to burst into tears at any second. Life was hard and I just held on to my little faith believing that Jesus is a good God; he is faithful to those who love him! Even when I couldn’t feel his presence, favor, or faithfulness I held on to His Word! I remembered life was so hard that the only time I felt peace was when I worshiped him in song. Several times, when I would tell God “I can’t do it, you just want me to suffer God” The next moment he would send a disciple to encourage me and remind me that our God is a faithful God!
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything”- James 1:2-4
For most people those three verses are not comforting during a trail but honestly its soooo true! My hurricane/trial taught me how to pray, brought me to a point that only Jesus can satisfy me, brought me to a point where I only want to follow God’s lead and not myself.
A year later, Januray 2011, I found myself once again crying and broken in God’s presence. Life once again wasn’t going the way I believed it should go. I was so broken and hurt that God would put me through another trial/hurricane again! Yet, it once again tested my faith and produced perseverance. The Lord had to bring me to my knees so I can fully submit my hopes and dreams.
As I submitted my hopes and dreams to the Lord, he didn’t take my dreams and throw them in the garbage like I was afraid he would. Instead, he quadrupled my passions for global health and gave me directions. He opened doors for me to travel to Haiti on a service trip, to travel to DC to attend a Global Health conference where many prominent people in the global health world like the Minister of Health for Liberia. He has given me the opportunity to be a part of UNICEF Campus Initiative National Council which consists of six members that represents the whole United States. These doors were not open because Faith Umoh had the G.P.A, the funds, or the qualification. In fact I had none of it but only faith in Jesus that if this was his will he would open the door!
In the midst of all these great opportunity, he has shown me that I did not go to these places just for my passion of global health but instead for His glory! Wherever we are there we find our mission/ministry that God has given us to proclaim who he is! He has given me opportunity to share my testimony, the Gospel and exemplify what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ in each setting! Glory to God!
I look back at 2009 to 2011 and even though I know there was sooooooooo much crying, I would not ask God to change it! The brokenness took away the pride and replaced it with humility; which affirmed to me that what I do is not because of myself or for myself, but it is for the Glory of God!
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”- Jeremiah 29:11
-Faith
I have been studying on and off for 8 hours and my brain has literally shut off to all things Genetics and Hispanic Syntax. I'm totally in awe of the things that Jesus has done in my life and in the life of others around me. I wake up thinking of Him, I go to sleep hoping I dream of Him. Although I must admit I sometimes dabble with the thought of being in a relationship, I'm knocked to my senses totally in awe and in love with God. (His perfect representation of His love for me through an earthly being shall wait)
As I reflect on my teenage years, I was mostly depressed. I can recall many times that I have cried myself to sleep. Many times, my sinful actions have gotten me into a lot of trouble. There were even times when I wanted to run away or even just die. Yes, I was a troubled teenage girl.
Today a little girl in Sunday school continued to shower me and the teacher with love. She would climb on us, and hug us, give us kisses and tell us how she loved us.
I was watching the kindergarten class for another teacher for a few moments. Both of our classes were learning about Jonah so I had begun to start a conversation asking the kids if they remembered the first half of the story they began to learn the week prior. Some answered, others stared, but one sweet little girl who had been in my class previously couldn't seem to pay attention to our dialog. She was flipping through her mini picture bible, and began to turn the pages to show me. She turned to the page of Jesus on the cross and said to me, "look, look, this makes me so sad," with the greatest sincerity of remorse in her voice. I nodded and attempted to explain to her that Jesus died for us, but then rose & now we have a chance to live with Him forever, but before I even got a chance to get through half of my explanation, she cried out, "but wait!" and rushed through a few pages to show Jesus, risen from the grave and entering into heaven. I knew at that moment no explanation was needed.
She had gotten it. And this is the child like faith we were told to pray for.
Stephanie
"A heart of flesh is known by its tenderness concerning sin. To have indulged a foul imagination, or to have allowed a wild desire to tarry even for a moment, is quite enough to make a heart of flesh grieve before the Lord. The heart of stone calls a great iniquity nothing, but not so the heart of flesh."If to the right or left I stray,
That moment, Lord, reprove;
And let me weep my life away,
For having grieved thy love"
The heart of flesh is tender of God's will. My Lord Will-be-will is a great blusterer, and it is hard to subject him to God's will; but when the heart of flesh is given, the will quivers like an aspen leaf in every breath of heaven, and bows like an osier in every breeze of God's Spirit. The natural will is cold, hard iron, which is not to be hammered into form, but the renewed will, like molten metal, is soon moulded by the hand of grace. In the fleshy heart there is a tenderness of the affections. The hard heart does not love the Redeemer, but the renewed heart burns with affection towards him. The hard heart is selfish and coldly demands, "Why should I weep for sin? Why should I love the Lord?" But the heart of flesh says; "Lord, thou knowest that I love thee; help me to love thee more!" Many are the privileges of this renewed heart; "'Tis here the Spirit dwells, 'tis here that Jesus rests." It is fitted to receive every spiritual blessing, and every blessing comes to it. It is prepared to yield every heavenly fruit to the honour and praise of God, and therefore the Lord delights in it. A tender heart is the best defence against sin, and the best preparation for heaven. A renewed heart stands on its watchtower looking for the coming of the Lord Jesus. Have you this heart of flesh?" Charles Spurgeon
-Steph
One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study. That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver. As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed. The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it" " [original author unknown] -StephanieMalachi 3:3 "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the LORD will have men who will bring offerings in righteousness."
This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.
Psalm 103:2 "Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits"
"Lord, grant that I might not so much seek to be loved as to love."-Francis of Assissi
So I have been a very busy-body for the past few months. So let me first say sincerely apologize for the lack of blogging on my side. I have had inspirations but just never took out the time to sit-down and actually blog. Lord, willingly I hope to blog more this summer :)
In the midst of my business, the Lord has been opening doors. Thank the Lord! After two years of having faith is Jesus that he will provide away, my grades have improved tremendously! I am finally enjoying my classes! My relationship with my father has improved so much! I have entered into a season of getting to know the soft, and loving father that I never knew. Friendships are good, and work is good. Everything appears to be working out, right?
There is one crucial thing in my life that isn't where it should be--my prayer life. If I want Jesus to be the center of my life, I have to make time for it. That sentence may sound very elementary and "ditto." But it's something that I know, and sometimes don't apply. I don't want to be so busy fulfilling my passions that I forget to spend time with the one who even gave me my passion.
Thus, I know for sure the Lord is calling me back to a life of prayer. There are still things in my life that I want clarity on and the only way to receive clarity is by spending time in his word.
It's hard to imagine that some of us or all of us don't struggle with our appearance from time to time. Its just one of those thing that I feel like will be a battle until the end of time. Till we are united with God, and won't be able to part our eyes from the beautiful one. So it pains me to see that like any struggle, we don't run to God for our solution. The world seems to have an upper hand; although portraying an awfully distorted image of true beauty; many campaigns are now emerging to send the message that it is OK to be you! But on the contrary God's children are keeping quiet. Aren't we to be shouting from mountain tops the message that God tells us that true beauty is not measured from outward standards? Our shying away from insecurities takes away our opportunity to boast in Christ alone. No matter if you struggle with your weight, hair, nose, eyes, stretch marks like me, or something else it is no surprise to God! Run to Him, speak up to others, let's encourage one another. You truly are beautiful.
I just came back from a 6 day service trip in Montrouis, Haiti with members from Gators for UNICEF. I went to Montrouis, honestly with no expectations. All I knew was that we were going to visit an orphanage and to me that's all I really needed to know, because over an over in the Bible God calls us to love the fatherless.
Pierre is an native Haitian who started the orphanage. After he finished school he was given the opportunity to live in Miami. Upon his arrival in the States, he stayed with his cousins who were cocaine dealers. His cousin wanted him to join them and sell cocaine. He didn't know what to do so he prayed to God. That night he slept and the Lord gave him a dream. The Lord showed him all the children in Haiti and said remember my children. The next day he woke up told his cousins to buy him a ticket back to Haiti. Once he got to Haiti, he started the orphanage and that was 20 years ago. Each child that stays in the orphanage has to attend school, church, and do their chores. The Lord has provided exceedingly and abundantly for Pierre to be able to afford for all children to go to school. Some of his children are now in the states and are attending universities in Chicago and Michigan. Pierre story is amazing, all he did was obey God and from his obedience so many children lives were changed
This World is not Conclusion.
A Species stands beyond --
Invisible, as Music --
But positive, as Sound --
It beckons, and it baffles --
Philosophy -- don't know --
And through a Riddle, at the last --
Sagacity, must go --
To guess it, puzzles scholars --
To gain it,
Men have borne
Contempt of Generations
And Crucifixion, shown --
Faith slips -- and laughs, and rallies --
Blushes, if any see --
Plucks at a twig of Evidence --
And asks a Vane, the way --
Much Gesture, from the Pulpit --
Strong Hallelujahs roll --
Narcotics cannot still the Tooth
That nibbles at the soul --
Due to Valentines day I have been chewing on Love this week. I read in 1 John4:16-19
19 We love because he first loved us."
If I speak in the tonguesa]">[a] of men or of angels, but do not have Jesus, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have Jesus, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,b]">[b] but do not have Jesus, I gain nothing.
4 Jesus is patient, Jesus is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Jesus does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Jesus never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
I remember the call. The message. The shock. The traveling texts, and breaking news reports. I remember the images. The thoughts. The questions left unanswered. I remember her voice, her smile, her laugh. I remember it's beauty.
Ayiti nou p ap janm bliye
I remember being speechless. Crying. Getting the first message from you. I remember the numbers, the inclining numbers and hearing news after news of those gone missing or reports of friends and family who had passed. I remember pleading.
Ayiti nou p ap janm bliye
I remember the amounts of people on the street. Survival stories, miracles from God. I remember being comforted. Orphans. Tents that still lie in their same place. I remember uniting.
Ayiti nou p ap janm bliye
Cholera, human trafficking, broken infrastructure. Who will remember? Too many resources not enough avenues. Who will remember?
He will remember, because more than anything I remember your people crying out to you, with the hope and knowledge that you were listening. You will never leave nor forsake those who love you. Not a year later, not ever.
Psalm 9:10 "Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you."
Stephanie
"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, ‘Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.’ Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long." — A.W. Tozer
I remember I was on a plane, either to or from Amsterdam, I'm not quite sure. I had fallen asleep, probably after minutes of tossing and turning and trying to get comfortable. After what may have been minutes or hours of sleep I woke up, just a bit frustrated that I now had to begin the falling asleep process again. The lights in the plane were still dim, part of the faux effect to acclimate you to the day/night period of the country you were to enter. I looked out the window to guess the time, and encountered the most beautiful sunrise. Such a magnificent blend of colors, I couldn't perfectly describe it to you, but it was something I had never seen. I tried to wake up my friends next to me, with failed attempts. I looked at the row of seats in front and to the side of me where the rest of the group sat, and found everyone deep in sleep. I left my cell phone in the States since it was little to no use on our mission trip, and my camera was one voted to stay back at home, due to its lackluster quality. So with no means of capturing this moment physically, I simply took it in and enjoyed it.
Sometimes beauty has no proof.
Sometimes no explanation.
Sometimes beauty is glorious, and simply exist to show that there is a God.
-Stephanie
The year of 2010 the Lord and I have drawn closer together. He has shown himself faithful in so many ways...
1. My number one prayer request for about 7 months has been for my parents and our relationship.
Looking back a full year later I can joyfully say there has been much improvement. The Lord has soften my heart towards them. He has also shown me how my actions towards my parents is not loving. Thus, I started doing little things like hugging them every time I see them when I'm home, texting them encouragement words and just simple I love you's. There still needs to be more improvements but in it all the Lord is faithful.
2. Making the Lord my first love/ and being complete in him
One night in fall 2010 I was seeking the Lord. I remember the first half of it I just broke down in his presence and basically laid out to him all the burdens I was holding in. I don't remember what those burdens were but I know after the Lord took them off my shoulder. After I was just basking in his presence and then I said those 3 words to him "I love you". I know you might think I am crazy. But honestly I have always sang songs expressing my love to him, even prayed them out. But I have never just spoke to Jesus and told him I love him. This was so deep to me because it was the love I always long from a man. It was at that moment that I knew deep in my heart that all I want in life is Jesus. Like literally, that's all I need; everything else is secondary.
3. The Lord has increase my Faith 100%
I have shared from my previous blogs the HURRICANE that I went through in the beginning of this year. For many months I was walking blind but solely on faith that God would provide for me despite how hopeless my situation looked. Around May the Lord took me out of the storm and his blessings were so much that I was just full! The Lord has shown himself countless times that he is faithful
4.Transparency to tell my testimony in public.
" Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."-Galatians 1:10
I use to be ashamed to tell my testimony because I worried what others would think of me. Through months of prayer, the Lord has freed me from fear of man. (This is kind of connected to the third point.Jesus is my identity and to me that's what I pride myself in and not myself.)
