Authoritarian or Loving?

Parents...
As a young girl I use to ask God why did he place me in this family. Everyone else seemed to have such a better and closer family. My theory was: My parents were born and raised in Nigeria. Therefore, being raised in Nigeria they don't understand the American Culture or want to. They always seemed to complain on how much they dislike America. There were numerous of things that my parents di that I disagreed with:

My parents forced us to listen to Christian music in the car. Never adapted to our love for hip hop or rnb music.

We were not allowed to watch T.V on school days only on the weekends. I was never given a cell phone until I got to college.
Boyfriends were completely our the question.

And Of course I had to be on top of my class. I had to make all A's.

We barely ate out but mainly cooked the food we ate.

My parents kept to themselves and only spent time with other Nigerians.
Church was a must and of course I went to a Christian School. They never gave me money freely, pinched on to every penny. Never bought me the expensive gifts during Christmas time like a xbox, ipod, camera.

Nope, nothing. I didn't wear designer shoes, or expensive clothes, because we barely went shopping. Yet, I could get away with that since I had school uniform my whole life.

My parents are strong Christians, so every Saturday mourning when everyone is sleeping in. My sisters and I had to wake up at 9 am to do devotions with my parents.

My parents sometimes would force me and my sister to go to "African Christian Fellowship" on Saturday nights when I could of been at the movies with my friends. During African Christian Fellowship, we would spend Hours worshiping and singing, a HOUR PRAYING and then another HOUR LONG MESSAGE.

This basically sums up my life under my parents roof. Since I didn't' agree with my parents, I felt as if I was force to live in this house. I LITERALLY counted down the years till my departure to. To me I saw my parents as dictators authoritarian's. Do it because I said so, I don't have to explain my self to you. Thus, I never truly open up to my parents. I did what they expected of me.

The word "love" was barely said to each other. I believed this analogy described my parents perfect..."My parents are like medicine. You hate the taste and taking of medicine, but you know you need it. " I knew I "needed" my parents but I dint really like them. I wish I had those parents that my friends and how they could tell everything to their parents. With my parents I never thought they understand me, I'm Nigerian-American. Identify myself as the American culture...yet they hate everything that has to do with it.

~ since God has been the the center of my life I have now found a new appreciation for my parents~

Everything that I push away that was my parents teaching, I am now allowing God to instill in my life.

I thank my parents for having the rule of TV only on the weekends. Because now with School being my priority, I don't have to worry about TV as a distraction. There are other productive things I can do with my life then just sitting in front of a screen all day.

I thank my parents for 9 am devotions on Sat. Because God has allowed all their teachings and verse to come back to me when He teaches me. Like...I heard that before...oh yeah devotions

I thank my parents for making us always eat in. Because by default I learned how to cook.

I thank my parents for not taking me shopping every week, and only buying clothes that are on sale. Because they have thought me how to shop with bargains and to save my money.

I thank my parents that they did not allow me to have any boyfriends when I was young. Because I no longer want a boyfriend. I no longer want anyone to "fulfill me" or "complete me". I want God to bless me with a HUSBAND that is Zealous for God, and I wont settle for anything less.

I thank my parents for being a strong christian, everything they did that I thought I would never do I now do!! African fellowship Christian on sat nights is now Friday Night Fire for me with my College ministry. Prayer Night Vigils. Devotions every mourning. Waking up to pray at 6am for two hours. Interceding for people. Believing that prayer is key. All of this I never thought I could become or WANT TO!!!

I thank my parents for only listening to christian music. Because now that I let go of secular music, I can transition to christian music smoothly because I have a large library of Christian music thanks to my parents.

I thank my parents for always expecting the best of me. Because I am now at UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA GO GATORS!!!!. and ambitious as ever!!!!

I thank my parents for setting the foundations for me not to waste my life, on today trends and cares of this world. But they have taught me to put God first and encouraged me to be ambitious in school.

Putting God first has allowed me and parents to talk more fluently on the phone,I am more open with my parents, and we now always end out conversation with

"I love you"

God is Sovereign
~Faith