Comfort vs. Passion

I have been studying my life away. Literally waisting my life away. I even gave up my spring break to study! Well, during this spring break I spent half of it studying and half of is resting. At the end of my spring break I looked back and thought to myself this was such a great spring break. Gainesville is so quiet and peaceful. I didn't study by myself but with 3-5 girls who also stayed in Gainesville. We did things at night and my break was just really good. I even started thinking man I don't mind staying in a small town. Like, all I need is a couple of friends on fire for God and I will be okay.

But then thats when the Hold Spirit whispered in my ear "Faith what did Czar say? Being comfortable isn't good!" My response was like why? Then Saturday I spoke to 4 friends on the phone( which is a record for me!) and was able to minster to 3 our of the 4 friends. It just brought back the burden that I have for my friends South Florida! So, yeah then it got me thinking, I thought I would never go back to S.Florida but then again now I am just like Lord they need more disciples like you could use me! But then I start getting cold feet when God puts the idea about sending me and I want to back away! hmmm ...Then the song " I surrender" by Kim Walker came on and the lyrics just got me! Mainly the chorus and the Bridges.

Chorus

All to You, I surrender,

Everything, every part of me.

All to You, I surrender,

All of my dreams, all of me.

Bridge 2:

No turning back, I've made up my mind,

I'm giving all of my life this time.

Bridge 3:

Your love makes it worth it,

Your love makes it worth it all,

Your love makes it worth it all.

I love that song usually I listen/sing to song saying YES JESUS YES JESUS!!! Sending me wherever you want to go. Use me Lord! But this time I am like man this is a hard song! And like this is the third time I listen to this song on my itunes today.(Lord are you trying to tell me something????)

So, I am listening laying in my bed trying to go to sleep but yet just bumbared with so many thoughts. I started praying for my friends and just become very restless. I start thinking about Francis Chan said in a sermon I watched. He said We Christians so easily make a home on this earth yet that is not what God has for us. We are not suppose to love the word but be SET APART. If he calls me to South Florida then I need to just pick my stuff up and go. I am not suppose to be comfortable because there are soooooo many lost people out there that need to hear the Gospel. I just start going on and on and really just get entangled with my thoughts. So I get up and go to my computer(I think I have an addiction to my computer) and went on the internet and ask the Lord why can't I sleep because I can usually fall asleep like that! (ask Stephnie I took a ten min nap at her place and literally knocked out!) This is the first time I actually asked the Lord what do you want to tell me! So I start looking for some edifying video to watch which this is something I really dont do . I actually ventured out of p4cm lol. But yeah, I actually found numerous videos that really discipled me! Very powerful! I actually sent 2 video's to my parents! (let you know that goes) But the biggest video that got me was Francis Chan. Man the Lord is really speaking through him.

Wow this video is straight Fire!

Like he basically slapped me in the face over and over again!

"Lord give me only what I need daily! Unless I will become independent and forget you!"

Oh so many times I think to myself. I need this and that Lord. If I just had so much money." Yet, then I would not think I need God. To me that previous sentence is just scary for me to even to type! I never want to be in a place in my life that I forget Jesus!

And so it brings me to going where ever he takes me. Literally, this place is not my home. And I need to keep it that way. Not get to attach to anything. So that when God switches gear I will be ready to follow quickly without stressing and crying about the things I have left behind.

I think this song is soooo approiate for this Blog!

~Faith