After the incident with my parents in December, I have literally gone to the Lord every day and just asked him to fix the relationship with my parents. Like seriously, I don’t know how clear I was in my blog but when I came to Gville this January 2010 for school, I did not want to go back! I was so hurt, like the MEETINGS (must emphasize that there were numerous tearful meetings) with my parents kept running through my head and I had to continuously blink back tears the first week of January. I was literally crush and just hit my books hard! I was literally afraid to pursue God more but felt the need to just stay in the Library every day. I had to do well, so my parents could leave me alone. I prayed:
“Jesus, please just give them what they want, so they can leave me alone!”
Yes, my heart was slightly cold towards them! But knowing that what I felt inside between my parents wasn’t cool made me put that as my number one prayer request for 2010. I literally pray for that relationship everyday. I want it to get strengthen. I want us to be able to talk really talk, to have intimacy and affection. I want to see my parents name on my caller id and be elated instead of the feeling of “oh great” or “what now”. I want to be able to tell my parents of the new revelation that God has worked in my life. Of the struggle that I am going with. I want to hear of my parents struggle. I want transparency and love to overflow in our relationship!
Everyday I seek God in my quiet time for him to move in our relationship. Can I say that the Lord really spoken to me, like man! To my surprise there was a HUGE REBUKE, and many revelations on how our relationship should be( which is what I said in the previous paragraph). So I know you wondering, what is this HUGE REBUKE that Faith is talking about.
SUBMISSION AND RECOGNIZING MY AUTHORITY
In 1 Samuel 19-26 David is running for his life because King Saul want to kill him. David does not know why King Saul wants him dead because he has done nothing wrong to him. If anything David has brought much honor and security to his Kingdom. At one point Saul and his men retire in the same cave that David and his men were in( but they were at the way back so Saul and his men did not know). David’s men tell him that the Lord has delivered Saul to his hand (because Saul and his men were in a deep sleep at this time). However, David tells them that Saul was anointed by the Lord as king. How can he kill someone who is anointed by the Lord.
I read this in my quiet time this week and was like what???? I definitely would have been one of his men saying “yo David the Lord has answered your prayers, killing him now!” Yet, right then I would have been an agent from the devil because that would have been a lie! It was a test of submission. Saul clearly has gone on his own way, yet David remembered Saul foundation ,and that he was ordained from God has the King. He was like, let God handle this, but it will not be on my hands. When Saul woke up he wept at David feet because he saw how he spared his life, and said you truly are more righteous then me!
Man! That brings me to my relationship with my parents. My college pastor told me to let my life speak for itself so their eye s will be open to how God is manifested in me. Yet, by me not submitting to them with my actions and my HEART; I am now allowing God to move in my relationship with my parents. I still believe I know better when they say things that don’t make any sense. I am 20 years old! I am an adult. Yet I still need to submit to my parents and know that they do have authority over me. Even more to know that there authoritiy is valid becase every authority is ordained by God. Romans 13:1 If I really believe God is sovereign then I need to let God work in my relationship with parents. Even when I can’t see where it is going. I need to practice Faith knowing that I have the favor of God!
So many times, I don’t listen to my parents because I believe that I have better judgment. It is even easier for me to not obey them when I am in gville and they are in s.florida. Or if I do submit, I don’t submit with my heart. Right there I am not only disobeying my parents, but also disobeying God I am now allowing God to fix my relationship because I am not letting him shine in me when I halfway obey him!
When God open my eyes I immediately repented and humbly called my parents up and apologized to both.
One way that I was disobeying them was that my Father told me in the beginning of this semester to not get involved in any activities but to just face my studies. Yet, I thought to myself how can I not be involved. I need to build my resume and there is so much I want to accomplish this semester. So I did get involved in a couple of organizations and was left feeling COMPLETELY overwhelm at the end of January. As I prayed for time management skills, the holy spirit so nicely reminded me how my father told me not to get involved in more clubs this semester. Thus, I had to send some emails out and resign from some of the positions, and I told my parents what I did and asked for their forgiveness.
Already by me submitting, I feel like the communication line between my parents have gotten better. I do not feel as overwhelmed in school and life. And, the Lord has even open my eyes on better ways I can study and interact with my professor!
-Faith
Ah amen.
Wow, Thank you Jesus.
=] <3 you.
-Steph
Hey, I definitely understand how you feel. I think this relationship is very common between Nigerian parents and their kids. It's totally crazy that even though my parents and I are not in the same nation, i still fear what they will say if I did something that they wouldn't approve. It really was so bad, I'm not particularly saying my parents are extremely strict, nor have I any recent proof that they are mean, I just have this crazy "respect" for them. This respect was more like fear, and I'm currently still praying for God to totally remove the fear and replace it with love and respect.I remember there was a time where I'd be so scared of sinning (especially in relation to boys)because of what my parents would say, rather than what God would say/do. It was crazy, but I encourage you, don't stop praying. I can't say that I'm totally over the fear, but it has drastically reduced. So, don't lose hope at all.
Also, I love the Romans 13:1 verse. I think the first time I came across it was August last year,and I got admonished when I read it. It was something very little and funny but it was the truth anyway. There's this round-about by my apartment, and anytime I drive by it, I just cut through instead of driving round it, or I wouldn't stop at the sign if no car was around, then I read the verse and I was immediately reprimanded and reminded of all the times I did not obey the law to stop at stop signs, or do the right thing when I got to a round-about. Yeah its so silly, but true. I was laughing at myself all day. I thought it was so funny, but every time I pass by the round about, I remember that verse. God has put the authorities there so you need to obey them.
Hopefully, whatever I said above made some sense. I tend to rant alot, lol.
Wow, Great Blog cuz. What a great testimony.
You know how much I thoroughly enjoyed this blog... :-)
I have been praying so much for you, and have been so unsure of what God was doing... so it is soo good to see him prune His daughter, EVEN IN THIS. HE IS SOOO GOOD!
He works everything out for OUR GROWTH and for us to get stronger in love. Because at the end of the day (or should I say, at the end of our lives), it all comes down to L.O.V.E
I love you so much.